Baines, Scattergood (Fictitious character) -- Fiction; New England -- Fiction
"Um!... Git buried, anyhow. Law compels it. Doggone little pleasure
spendin' money f'r your own coffin. More sensible to git some good out
of it.... I'm goin' away to the city f'r a week or sich a matter. When I
come back we'll kind of thrash things out and see what's to be done.
Meantime, don't you and Grandmother Penny up and elope."
In this manner Scattergood planted the get-rich-quick idea in the head
of Mr. Spackles, who communicated it to Grandmother Penny in the course
of a clandestine meeting. The old folks discussed it, and hope made it
seem more and more plausible to them. Realizing the fewness of the days
remaining to them, they were anxious to utilize every moment. It was
Grandmother Penny who was the daring spirit. She was for drawing their
money out of the bank that very day and investing it somehow, somewhere,
in the hope of seeing it come back to them a hundredfold.
Scattergood had neglected to take into consideration Grandmother Penny's
adventuresome spirit; he had also neglected to avail himself of the
information that a certain Mr. Baxter, registered from Boston, was at
the hotel, and that his business was selling shares of stock in a mine
which did not exist to gullible folks who wanted to become wealthy
without spending any labor in the process. He did a thriving business.
It was Coldriver's first experience with this particular method of
extracting money from the public, and it came to the front handsomely.
Mr. Spackles got wind of the opportunity and told it to Grandmother
Penny. She took charge of affairs, compelled her fiance to go with her
to the bank, where they withdrew their savings, and then sought for Mr.
Baxter, who, in return for a bulk sum of some five hundred dollars, sold
them enough stock in the mine to paper the parlor. Also, he promised
them enormous returns in an exceedingly brief space of time. Their
profit on the transaction would, he assured them, be not less than ten
thousand dollars, and might mount to double that sum. They departed in a
state of extreme elation, and but for Mr. Spackles's conservatism
Grandmother Penny would have eloped with him then and there.
"I'd like to, Ellen. I'd like to, mighty well, but 'tain't safe. Le's
git the money fust. The minnit the money comes in, off we mog to the
parson. But 'tain't safe yit. Jest hold your hosses."
When Scattergood returned and was visible again on the piazza of his
hardware store, it was not long before the village financiers came to
him boasting of their achievement. He, Scattergood, was not the only man
in town with the ability to make money. No, indeed, and for proof of it
here were the stock certificates, purchased from a deluded young man for
a few cents a share, when common sense told you they were worth many,
many dollars. Scattergood listened to two or three without a word.
Finally he asked:
"How many folks went into this here thing?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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