Clergy -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
‘No, my dear sir. I have much more than a single man needs. My way of
living is quite of my own choosing, and I am doing nothing but what I
feel bound to do, quite apart from money considerations. We cannot judge
for one another, you know; we have each our peculiar weaknesses and
temptations. I quite admit that it might be right for another man to
allow himself more luxuries, and I assure you I think it no superiority
in myself to do without them. On the contrary, if my heart were less
rebellious, and if I were less liable to temptation, I should not need
that sort of self-denial. But,’ added Mr. Tryan, holding out his hand to
Mr. Jerome, ‘I understand your kindness, and bless you for it. If I want
a horse, I shall ask for the chesnut.’
Mr. Jerome was obliged to rest contented with this promise, and rode home
sorrowfully, reproaching himself with not having said one thing he meant
to say when setting out, and with having ‘clean forgot’ the arguments he
had intended to quote from Mr. Stickney.
Mr. Jerome’s was not the only mind that was seriously disturbed by the
idea that the curate was over-working himself. There were tender women’s
hearts in which anxiety about the state of his affections was beginning
to be merged in anxiety about the state of his health. Miss Eliza Pratt
had at one time passed through much sleepless cogitation on the
possibility of Mr. Tryan’s being attached to some lady at a distance--at
Laxeter, perhaps, where he had formerly held a curacy; and her fine eyes
kept close watch lest any symptom of engaged affections on his part
should escape her. It seemed an alarming fact that his handkerchiefs were
beautifully marked with hair, until she reflected that he had an
unmarried sister of whom he spoke with much affection as his father’s
companion and comforter. Besides, Mr. Tryan had never paid any distant
visit, except one for a few days to his father, and no hint escaped him
of his intending to take a house, or change his mode of living. No! he
could not be engaged, though he might have been disappointed. But this
latter misfortune is one from which a devoted clergyman has been known to
recover, by the aid of a fine pair of grey eyes that beam on him with
affectionate reverence. Before Christmas, however, her cogitations began
to take another turn. She heard her father say very confidently that
‘Tryan was consumptive, and if he didn’t take more care of himself, his
life would not be worth a year’s purchase;’ and shame at having
speculated on suppositions that were likely to prove so false, sent poor
Miss Eliza’s feelings with all the stronger impetus into the one channel
of sorrowful alarm at the prospect of losing the pastor who had opened to
her a new life of piety and self-subjection. It is a sad weakness in us,
after all, that the thought of a man’s death hallows him anew to us; as
if life were not sacred too--as if it were comparatively a light thing to
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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