Scribner's Magazine, Volume 26, August 1899Various
General
Scribner's Magazine, Volume 26, August 1899
Various
American periodicals
"I suppose," said Taffy next day, looking up from his Virgil, "I suppose
Miss Honoria wants to make friends now, and help on the restoration?"
Mr. Raymond, who was on his knees fastening a loose hinge in a pew-door,
took a screw from between his lips.
"Yes, she proposed that."
"It must be splendid for you, dad!"
"I don't quite see," answered Mr. Raymond, with his head well inside
the pew.
Taffy stood up, put his hands in his pockets, and took a turn up and
down the aisle.
"Why," said he, coming to a halt, "it means that you have won. It's
victory, dad, and _I_ call it glorious!" His lip trembled. He wanted
to put a hand on his father's shoulder, as any other comrade would. But
his abominable shyness stood between.
"We won long ago, my boy." And Mr. Raymond wheeled round on his knees,
pushed up his spectacles, and quoted the famous lines, very solemnly
and slowly:
And not by eastern windows only,
When daylight comes, comes in the light;
In front the sun climbs slow, how slowly,
But westward, look, the land is bright.
"I see," Taffy nodded. "And—I say, that's jolly. Who wrote it?"
"A man I used to see in the streets of Oxford, and always turned to
stare after: a man with big oddly shaped feet and the face of a god—a
young tormented god. Those were days when young men's thoughts tormented
them. Taffy," he asked, abruptly, "should you like to go to Oxford?"
"Don't, father!" The boy bit his lip to keep back the tears. "Talk of
something else—something cheerful. It has been a splendid fight, just
splendid! And now it's over I'm almost sorry."
"What is over?"
"Well, I suppose—now that Honoria wants to help—we can hire workmen and
have the whole job finished in a month or two at farthest: and you——"
Mr. Raymond stood up, and leaning against a bench-end examined the thread
of the screw between his fingers.
"That is one way of looking at it, no doubt," he said, slowly; "and I
hope God will forgive me if I have put my own pride before His service.
But a man desires to leave some completed work behind him: something to
which people may point and say, '_he_ did it.' There was my book, now:
for years I thought that was to be my work. But God thought otherwise
and—to correct my pride, perhaps—set me to this task instead. To
set a small forsaken country church in order and make it worthy of His
presence—that is not the mission I should have chosen. But so be it:
I have accepted it. Only, to let others step in at the last and finish
even this—I say He must forgive me, but I cannot."
"Your book ... you can go back to it and finish it."
"I have burnt it."
"Dad!"
"I burned it. I had to. It was a temptation to me, and until I lifted
it from the grate and the flakes crumbled in my hands, the surrender
was not complete."
Taffy felt a sudden gush of pity. And as he pitied, suddenly he understood
his father.
"It had to be complete?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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