Scribner's Magazine, Volume 26, October 1899Various
History
Scribner's Magazine, Volume 26, October 1899
Various
American periodicals
He lay there in bed with no restlessness; he heard the regular breathing
of his wife, who was sleeping at his side; he saw the faint illumination
from the door open into the next room where the baby was also asleep.
He looked toward the window, but no ray of light was yet visible; and
he guessed it to be about four o'clock in the morning, perhaps a little
earlier. In that case he had not been in bed more than two or three
hours at the most. He wondered why he had waked thus unexpectedly, since
he had had a fatiguing day. Perhaps it was the excitement—there was
no doubt that he had had his full share of excitement that evening—and
he thrilled again as he recalled the delicious sensation of dull dread
yielding at last to the certainty of success.
He had played for a heavy stake and he had won. That was just what he
had been doing—gambling with fate, throwing dice with fortune itself.
That was what every dramatic author had to do every time he brought
out a new play. The production of a piece at an important New York
theatre was a venture as aleatory almost as cutting a pack of cards,
and the odds were always against the dramatist. And as the young man
quietly recalled the events of the evening it seemed to him that the
excitement of those who engineer corners in Wall Street must be like
his own anxiety while the future of his drama hung in the balance, only
theirs could not but be less keen than his, less poignant, for he was
playing his game with men and women, while what they touched were but
inanimate stocks. His winning depended upon the actors and actresses who
had bodied forth his conception. A single lapse of memory or a single
slip of the tongue, and the very sceptical audience of the first night
might laugh in the wrong place, and so cut themselves off from sympathy;
and all his labor would go for nothing, and all his hopes would shrivel
before his eyes. Of a truth it is the ordeal by fire that the dramatist
must undergo; and there had been moments that long swift evening when
he had felt as though he were tied to the stake, and awaiting only the
haggard squaw who was to apply the torch.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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