Interstellar travel -- Fiction; Science fiction; Space colonies -- Fiction
Ben Jones said softly to them, “Come on,” and led them into an adjoining
room furnished with sleeping pads. He said apologetically, “The doctor’s
nerves are shot tonight. Trouble is, he’s too Jones-fearing. Me, I can
take it or leave it alone.” His laugh had a little too much bravado in
it. “There’s a little bit of nonJones in the best of us, I always
say—but not to the doctor. And not when he’s hitting the Jones juice.”
He shrugged cynically and said, “What the hell? L-sub-T equals
L-sub-zero e to the minus T-over-two-N.”
Ross had him by his shirt frill. “Say that again!”
Ben Jones shoved him away. “What’s the matter with you, boy?”
“I’m sorry. Would you please repeat that formula? What you said?” he
hastily amended when the word “formula” obviously failed to register.
Ben Jones repeated the formula wonderingly.
“What does it mean?” Ross demanded. “I’ve been chasing the damned thing
across the Galaxy.” He hastily filled Ben Jones in on its previous
appearances.
“Well,” Ben Jones said, “it means what it says, of course. I mean, it’s
obvious, isn’t it?” He studied their faces and added uncertainly, “Isn’t
it?”
“What does it mean to _you_, Ben?” Ross asked softly.
“Why, what it means to anybody, pal. Right’s right, wrong’s wrong, Jones
is in his Heaven, conform or else—it means morality, man. What else
could it mean?”
Ross then proceeded to make an unmannerly nuisance of himself. He
grilled their involuntary host mercilessly, shrugging aside all
attempted diversions of the talk into what they were going to do with
the three visitors. He ignored protestations that Ben was no
Jonesologist, Jones knew, and drilled in. By the time Ben Jones
exploded, stamped out, and locked them in for the night, he had elicited
the following:
Everybody knew the formula; they were taught it at their mother’s knee.
It was recited antiphonally before and after Jones Meetings. Ben knew it
was right, of course, and some day he was going to get right with Jones
and live up to it, but not just yet, because if he didn’t make money in
the prosthesis racket somebody else would. The formula was everywhere:
on the lintels of public buildings, hanging in classrooms, and on the
bedroom walls of the most Jones-fearing old ladies where they could see
its comforting message last thing at night and first thing in the
morning.
From a book? Well yes, he guessed so; sure it was in the Book of
Joneses, but who could say whether that was where it started. Most
people thought it was just Handed Down. Way back during the war—what
war? The War of the Joneses, of course! Anyway, in the war the last of
the holdouts against the formula had been destroyed. No, he didn’t know
anything about the war. No, not his grandfather’s time or his
grandfather’s grandfather’s time. Long ago, that war was. Maybe there
were records in the old museum in Earth. The city, of course, not some
damn planet he never heard of!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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