GERVASE. Really, I don't understand you. I came up here for a walk in
a perfectly ordinary blue suit, and you do nothing but say "Oo." What
does your father wear when he's ploughing? I suppose you don't walk
all round _him_ and say "Oo!" What does your Uncle George wear when
he's reaping? I suppose you don't--By the way, I wish you'd tell me
your name. (ERN gazes at him dumbly.) Oh, come! They must have told
you your name when you got up this moving.
ERN (smiling sheepishly). Ern.
GERVASE (bowing). How do you do? I am very glad to meet you, Mr.
Hearne. My name is Mallory. (ERN grins) Thank you.
ERN (tapping himself). I'm Ern.
GERVASE. Yes, I'm Mallory.
ERN. Ern.
GERVASE. Mallory. We can't keep on saying this to each other, you
know, because then we never get any farther. Once an introduction is
over, Mr. Hearne, we are--
ERN. Ern.
GERVASE. Yes, I know. I was very glad to hear it. But now--Oh, I see
what you mean. Ern--short for Ernest?
ERN (nodding). They calls me Ern.
GERVASE. That's very friendly of them. Being more of a stranger I
shall call you Ernest. Well, Ernest-- (getting up) Just excuse me a
moment, will you? Very penetrating bark this tree has. It must be a
Pomeranian. (He folds his cloak upon it and sits down again) That's
better. Now we can talk comfortably together. I don't know if there's
anything you particularly want to discuss--nothing?--well, then, I
will suggest the subject of breakfast.
ERN (grinning). 'Ad my breakfast.
GERVASE. You've _had_ yours? You selfish brute! . . . Of course, you're
wondering why I haven't had mine.
ERN. Bacon fat. (He makes reminiscent noises.)
GERVASE. Don't keep on going through all the courses. Well, what
happened was this. My car broke down. I suppose you never had a motor
car of your own.
ERN. Don't like moty cars.
GERVASE. Well, really, after last night I'm inclined to agree with
you. Well, no, I oughtn't to say that, because, if I hadn't broken
down, I should never have seen Her. Ernest, I don't know if you're
married or anything of that sort, but I think even your rough stern
heart would have been moved by that vision of loveliness which I saw
last night. (He is silent for a little, thinking of her.) Well, then,
I lost my way. There I was--ten miles from anywhere--in the middle of
what was supposed to be a short cut--late at night--Midsummer
Night--what would _you_ have done, Ernest?
ERN. Gone 'ome.
GERVASE. Don't be silly. How could I go home when I didn't know where
home was, and it was a hundred miles away, and I'd just seen the
Princess? No, I did what your father or your Uncle George or any wise
man would have done, I sat in the car and thought of Her.
ERN. Oo!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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