GEORGE. I see no prospect of Dinah's marriage taking place for many
years.
OLIVIA. No, dear, that was what I said.
GEORGE (not understanding for the moment). You said. . . . ? I see. Now,
Olivia, let us have this perfectly clear. You apparently insist on
treating my--er--proposal as serious.
OLIVIA (surprised). Wasn't it serious? Were you trifling with me?
GEORGE. You know quite well what I mean. You treat it as an ordinary
proposal from a man to a woman who have never been more than
acquaintances before. Very well then. Will you tell me what you
propose to do, if you decide to--ah--refuse me? You do not suggest
that we should go on living together--unmarried?
OLIVIA (shocked). Of course not, George! What would the County--I mean
Heaven--I mean the Law--I mean, of _course_ not! Besides, it's so
unnecessary. If I decide to accept you, of _course_ I shall marry you.
GEORGE. Quite so. And if you--ah--decide to refuse me? What will you
do?
OLIVIA. Nothing.
GEORGE. Meaning by that?
OLIVIA. Just that, George. I shall stay here--just as before. I like
this house. It wants a little re-decorating perhaps, but I do like it,
George. . . . Yes, I shall be quite happy here.
GEORGE. I see. You will continue to live down here--in spite of what
you said just now about the immorality of it.
OLIVIA (surprised). But there's nothing immoral in a widow living
alone in a big country house, with perhaps the niece of a friend of
hers staying with her, just to keep her company.
GEORGE (sarcastic). And what shall _I_ be doing, when you've so very
kindly taken possession of my house for me?
OLIVIA. I don't know, George. Travelling, I expect. You could come
down sometimes with a chaperone. I suppose there would be nothing
wrong in that.
GEORGE (indignant). Thank you! And what if I refuse to be turned out
of my house?
OLIVIA. Then, seeing that we can't _both_ be in it, it looks as though
you'd have to turn _me_ out. (Casually) I suppose there are legal ways
of doing these things. You'd have to consult your solicitor again.
GEORGE (amazed). Legal ways?
OLIVIA. Well, you couldn't _throw_ me out, could you? You'd have to
get an injunction against me--or prosecute me for trespass--or
something. It would make an awfully unusual case, wouldn't it? The
papers would be full of it.
GEORGE. You must be mad!
OLIVIA (dreamily). Widow of well-known ex-convict takes possession of
J.P.'s house. Popular country gentleman denied entrance to his own
home. Doomed to travel.
GEORGE (angrily). I've had enough of this. Do you mean all this
nonsense?
OLIVIA. I do mean, George, that I am in no hurry to go up to London
and get married. I love the country just now, and (with a sigh) after
this morning, I'm--rather tired of husbands.
GEORGE (in a rage). I've never heard so much--damned nonsense in my
life. I will leave you to come to your senses. (He goes out
indignantly.)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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