(OLIVIA, who has forgiven him already, throws a loving kiss after him,
and then turns triumphantly to her dear curtains. She takes them,
smiling, to the sofa, and has just got to work again, when MR. PIM
appears at the open windows.)
PIM (in a whisper). Er, may I come in, Mrs. Marden?
OLIVIA (turning round in surprise). Mr. Pim!
PIM (anxiously). Mr. Marden is--er--not here?
OLIVIA (getting up). Do you want to see him? I will tell him.
PIM. No, no, no! Not for the world! (He comes in and looks anxiously
at the door) There is no immediate danger of his returning, Mrs.
Marden?
OLIVIA (surprised). No, I don't think so. What is it? You--
PIM. I took the liberty of returning by the window in the hope
of--er--coming upon you alone, Mrs. Marden.
OLIVIA. Yes?
PIM (still rather nervous). I--er--Mr. Marden will be very angry with
me. Quite rightly. I blame myself entirely. I do not know how I can
have been so stupid.
OLIVIA. What is it, Mr. Pim? Has my husband come to life again?
PIM. Mrs. Marden, I throw myself on your mercy entirely. The fact
is--his name was Polwittle.
OLIVIA (at a loss). Whose? My husband's?
PIM. Yes, yes. The name came back to me suddenly, just as I reached
the gate. Polwittle, poor fellow.
OLIVIA. But, Mr. Pim, my husband's name was Telworthy.
PIM. No, no, Polwittle.
OLIVIA. But, really I ought to. . . .
PIM (firmly). Polwittle. It came back to me suddenly just as I reached
the gate. For the moment, I had thoughts of conveying the news by
letter. I was naturally disinclined to return in person,
and--Polwittle. (Proudly) If you remember, I always said it was a
curious name.
OLIVIA. But who _is_ Polwittle?
PIM (in surprise at her stupidity). The man I have been telling you
about, who met with the sad fatality at Marseilles. Henry
Polwittle--or was it Ernest? No, Henry, I think. Poor fellow.
OLIVIA (indignantly). But you said his name was Telworthy! How _could_
you?
PIM. Yes, yes, I blame myself entirely.
OLIVIA. But how could you _think_ of a name like Telworthy, if it
wasn't Telworthy?
PIM (eagerly). Ah, that is the really interesting thing about the
whole matter.
OLIVIA. Mr. Pim, all your visits here to-day have been interesting.
PIM. Yes, but you see, on my first appearance here this morning, I was
received by--er--Miss Diana.
OLIVIA. Dinah.
PIM. Miss Dinah, yes. She was in--er--rather a communicative mood, and
she happened to mention, by way of passing the time, that before your
marriage to Mr. Marden you had been a Mrs.--er--
OLIVIA. Telworthy.
PIM. Yes, yes, Telworthy, of course. She mentioned also Australia. By
some process of the brain--which strikes me as decidedly curious--when
I was trying to recollect the name of the poor fellow on the boat,
whom you remember I had also met in Australia, the fact that this
other name was also stored in my memory, a name equally peculiar--this
fact I say . . .
OLIVIA (seeing that the sentence is rapidly going to pieces). Yes, I
understand.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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