I have been told, and have told Sibella, that instead of being a
dependent on her uncle, she is mistress of fifty thousand pounds: with
infinite astonishment she heard me, and is gone to demand an explanation
of Mrs. Valmont. I requested her to forbear naming me, till I had made a
safe retreat from the park; for Valmont is proud, insolent and cruel.
And she bade me wait her return here, that according to Mr. Valmont's
reception of the tidings, I, as Clement's friend, might yield her my
prompt advice.
Yes! as Clement's friend, she said. Ah well may I talk of endurance!
When I first knew you, Madam, at Barlowe Hall, you won my admiration and
esteem, by the uniform reserve, or I may say repugnance of your manners
toward me. I adored your disdain of a character I equally disdained,
while I contemptibly descended to wear it; and, though I could not
instantly resolve to cast aside the unmerited fame of my licentiousness,
yet you never moved or spoke, that I was not all eye and ear, however,
you might contemn the abettor of impertinence and folly in Lady Margaret
and Lady Laura Bowden.
One evening, you may remember, I abruptly shook off those interrupters,
who wore gorgon-heads in my view, while they delivered their invidious
suppositions concerning the lovely being, whose picture you had so
animatedly given.--When your eulogium on Sibella Valmont ceased, I
withdrew; flew to my chamber; and hastily locked the door, as if I had
newly found treasure to deposit there in secresy. I threw myself into a
chair. 'And is not all this familiar to thee, Murden?' said I, after a
pause. 'Hast thou not a thousand and a thousand times, in thy waking and
sleeping visions, described a being thus artless, thus feminine, yet
firm, such an all-attractive daughter of wisdom?--Ay: but I had never
personified her in Sibella Valmont, though Clement had sworn ten
thousand fathom deeper to her beauty.'
I could make no more nor less of it. My head ached; and my soul was
burthened. I went to bed, and dreamt of a wilderness, and an angel; and
the vision followed me through the engagements of the succeeding day.
Whether it was that I more industriously fought it than formerly, I know
not, but soon an opportunity arose of conversing with you alone. It was
easy to lead to a theme wherein your affections were as much engaged as
my curiosity; and I heard every interesting particular of her mind,
manners, and seclusion. Her love of Clement Montgomery, was also
remembered. To me, his love of her never bore any striking features;
and, somehow, her's to him seldom intruded amidst my chimeras. Strange
wishes arose--tremulous expectations. 'It is all curiosity,' said I;
'and to overcome the obstacles that forbid thy knowledge of this
Phoenix, is worthy the labour of ingenuity.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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