And next, Madam, to prevent suspicion and enquiry, I deemed it proper to
join you and my uncle's party at Bath. There, in the midst of the
crowds, was I alone. I saw but one form. I heard but one voice. I began
to despise Montgomery; to assure myself, against conviction, that she
did not could not love him; and had promised my heart I know not what of
success and felicity when--the contrast past; his letter came; and I, in
the saloon, in your presence, before a crowd of witnesses, behaved like
a fool and a madman. Pardon, Miss Ashburn, in consideration of my
despair, any surprise or shock my conduct gave you. Never can you know
what were the feelings of that night. Love had no concern therewith. It
was a night of hatred, revenge and rage.
Adieu, Madam. I have filled up the last space of my paper, and my
narrative must rest till I return to the farm.
The blessings of an uncorrupted mind ever, ever, be your possession.
A. MURDEN
LETTER VI
FROM THE SAME--TO THE SAME
In continuation
Four and twenty hours longer of fruitless expectation did I endure in
that cell. No Sibella appeared. Did she then forget her request?
Painting her future delights with Montgomery, has she forgotten the
unblessed wretch, who for her sake could sustain hunger and cold,
watching and weariness, who to hail the same breeze that had saluted
her, quitted every indulgence of luxury for an abode that held comfort
at defiance, who stretched himself along the bare stone rather than on a
bed of down, because from that sleepless couch he could spring, to gain
an indistinct view of her bewitching form?
Ay, pour your contempt upon me, ye whose smiles I have beguiled you
of!--View him who bought your unprized tenderness with the empty breath
of flattery, view him, stealing slave-like into forbidden paths only to
gaze at humble distance, only to catch the echo of a sigh, a sigh
breathed to another!----He, Miss Ashburn, who lives without hope--must
_die_ for consolation.
Yet, surely this her absence cannot arise from so more than common an
instance of insensibility; some accident may have prevented her return;
and I am capricious and cruel, while I dare to accuse her of
insensibility. John Thomas met me, as I returned to the farm. He was
carrying malt to the castle. I will throw myself in his way when he
comes home; and probably, amidst the abundance of information he will be
eager to communicate, I may find something which will elucidate this
strange absence of Miss Valmont.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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