One absurdity more, and I have done. By the little fawn I sent my
farewel to your friend, and waited only for darkness to revisit farmer
Richardson's. Night came and with it rain and such an impervious mist
that I could not see my hand when I stretched it out, nor was I so lost
to common prudence as not to foresee the danger of attempting my descent
under such circumstance. Morning might afford me opportunity. The sword
I brought from Valmont's armoury still lay on the floor of my cell; and
a temptation arose of bearing it back to its original station: to be a
last time under the same roof with Sibella, to offer a farewel prayer as
near her as I dared approach.--Things so apparently unsatisfactory of
themselves as these acquire an infinity of importance when the heart is
assured they never, never can be reacted. The hour of night made me
bold. I ventured beyond the armoury. I even intended seeking the room
you once spoke of, and stealing from it her portrait. My beard and gown
gave me the privilege of spirits, I thought to walk undisturbed; but
hardly had I trodden ten paces beyond the armoury door when I met three
men, and, what was still worse, considering the imagined security of my
disguise, one of them pursued me. Apprehension gave me wings. I flew
back; and had secured the pannel before he entered the armoury; then
regained my cell with all possible expedition. This accident prevented
my quitting the park by day-light, least I should be watched.
On the next morning, when Nina came panting down to my cell, I heard a
voice calling her back, to which every nerve vibrated throughout my
frame. I went up into the chapel. Sibella was there. I was shocked to
see her pale and wan.--She heard me with patience, she looked on me with
pity. Above all, she gave me very good advice. In the dusk of that
evening, I left Valmont park.
As eager now to quit this place as I had formerly been to seek it, I
would not even allow myself to rest one night at the farm; but, although
the evening was dark and chilling, I mounted my horse and bade
Richardson farewel. My strength failed me, my head became dizzy, and the
bridle frequently dropped from my hand. When I reached the first village
on my road, I stopped at an inn, and ordered a chaise to be got ready
for me. They showed me into a room where three or four other persons
were seated at a table drinking. I drew a chair close to the fire and
turned my face from them. For a minute after my entrance they remained
silent; but observing, I imagine, that I did not appear disposed to give
them any attention they resumed their conversation, and little should I
have known of their subject had not the name of Miss Valmont struck upon
my ear. I turned round involuntarily and found the speaker was a dark
young man, smartly dressed; he was evidently in a state of intoxication,
and his auditors not more sober than himself were the landlord of the
inn and two countrymen.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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