I have heard myself called pedantic, inflexible, opinionated; I have
been told, by some gentler people, that I am severe, misjudging, giving
to those little foibles almost inseparable from human nature the name of
vice, and this may be true; for you call yourself a foolish man--I call
you vicious.--Nay start not, Murden; but lay your hand on your heart,
and tell me, if you have well employed your time and talents? If you
have done service to human kind, or if you have not in fraud and secresy
bubbled away your happiness? and if it is the part of a virtuous man to
sigh with black misanthropy in solitude a few passive years, and then
lie down in the grave unblessing and unblessed?
Yet I do pity you, for I have neither a hard nor a cold heart, nor a
heart that dare receive a sensation it will not for your example dare to
acknowledge.--Yes, I confess I have loved you! yet, because I could not
possess myself of the strong holds in your heart, shall I sink down and
die?--No! no!--I bade the vague hope begone.--I refused to be the worst
of slaves, the slave of self; and now, my friend, more worthy than ever
of your friendship, I am ready to do any thing in your behalf that
reason can approve.
That service is to gain Sibella for you. Again you retreat.--Your false
delicacy and false refinement fly to guard you with their sevenfold
shield from the attack.--But hear me, Murden:--I would not unite you as
you are to the Sibella Valmont whom you have loved with all the fervour
the most impassioned language can describe, the erring Sibella while she
sees neither spot nor stain in him with whom she has pledged herself in
union:--No! I would first subdue the fermentation of your senses, teach
you to esteem Sibella's worth, pity her errors, and love her with
infinite sincerity, but not so as to absorb your active virtues, to
transform you from a man into a baby.--You are but two beings in the
great brotherhood of mankind, and what right have you to separate your
benevolence from your fellow-creatures and make a world between you,
when you cannot separate your wants also?--You must be dependent for
your blessings on the great mass of mankind, as they in part also depend
on you.--When you can thus love, I would unite you to Sibella, who in
turn shall be roused from the present mistaken zeal of her affections.
Her soul will renounce the union her mistakes have formed, when she
knows Clement as unworthy of her as he really is. From a struggle
perhaps worse than death, she will rise dignified into superior
happiness:--Claim you as her friend, her monitor, her guide; and devote
her life, her love to your virtues!
O yes, I know it well!--your imagination teems with the rhapsodies of
passion!--I hear your high-wrought declamation, the dictates of a
fevered fancy. I do pity you, Murden, from my soul; and if I did not
believe you able to overcome all the misery you deplore I should not
pity you at all.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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