Ah my friend, my beloved Murden, if an interval of memory, happily, now is thine, read these lines which thy friend pens to thee in agony.--She follows on the instant. You once demanded my consolations and friendship, as a reparation for the mischievous error into which I had led you.--Will you receive them now as such, against the manifold mischiefs I have brought upon you? Ah! what, what had I to do with secret escapes!--I, who exclaimed from the beginning against Valmont's secresy, and prophesied its fatal consequences!--Must I too conspire to make Sibella the victim of secresy?--Unhappy sufferer! Yet more unhappy Caroline! She, debarred the use of her judgment, erred only from mistake; I, alas! have sinned against reason and conviction! Clement, I suspect, has watched our footsteps. I fear he has secured her.--Ah, miserable fate! Console yourself, my dearest friend. It will please you to know that, even before I come to you, I am going to B----, to send messengers in search of Sibella. And if money and vigilance can bring us tidings of our lost friend, I have the power of employing both.--Prepare to receive me with calmness.--Already, I have the aggravated distress of your and Sibella's feelings to endure.--I am pained beyond description. CAROLINE ASHBURN LETTER XXXIII FROM LORD FILMAR TO SIR WALTER BOYER I can truly say, I neither sit, stand, walk, nor lie:--that is, the complete _I_, body and soul together; for, let the former attempt its mechanical motions as it will, the other in a quite opposite direction is striking, curvetting, capering, twisting, tumbling, and playing more tricks than any fantastical ape in nature. Therefore, dear Walter, you must send me instantly a hundred guineas. Yes really, if you want to quiet my conscience, you must send me a hundred guineas. Nothing will quiet my conscience but matrimony. I cannot marry without a hundred guineas.--Ergo, if you don't send me a hundred guineas, and I should die, and be ----, the sin will lay at your door, and you will die and be ---- likewise. As I have much consideration for you, my dear Walter, and as I know that people who have very weak heads, have sometimes also very weak nerves, I would advise you to lay down my letter, unless you are seated in some safe place, for, should your situation be dangerous, and should the surprise I am preparing for you rob you of apprehension, down you drop and leave me in utter despair--lest your executors should refuse me the hundred guineas. Well--are you settled to your satisfaction?--Here it comes like a thunderbolt! Miss Valmont is mine, and I am her's--your hundred guineas will buy a parson and a prayer book; and then the _L.7000_ a year is mine also.