I half-awoke from my dream when I heard Bernhardt rise. A moment later I felt his eyes prowling over my body. Then a shadow darkened my face and Bernhardt said with a strange quaver in his voice: "_Cherchez la femme._ You are the woman, Louise, you and none else." And wild, forbidden kisses burned on my face, on my neck, on my breasts. Both hands claimed a lover's liberties. I was taken completely unawares; in my mind of minds I was in the Countess's pavilion, receiving Henry's caresses. All sense of location had vanished. And, thinking of my lover, I clasped both arms about Bernhardt's neck and drew him to me. We kissed like mad. The love feast for Henry became Bernhardt's in the twinkling of an eye. Whether he felt like a thief, I don't know; for my part my senses responded to Henry, not to his substitute. How long this embrace lasted, I don't know. Somebody, or some noise, caused us to separate. I fled and locked myself in my room. "Tell His Royal Highness he must excuse me. I can't see him before he goes away. Say I have a headache, or the gout, I don't care which," I commanded Lucretia next morning. The previous night I had denied myself to Frederick Augustus, though he entreated and raved. While I appreciate the arch-Lais's _bon mot_ that "one can't judge of a family by a single specimen," which made Ninon talk of her lovers _not_ as Coligny, Villarceau, Sevigne, Conde, d'Albret, etc., but as _les_ Rochefoucaults, _les_ d'Effiats, _les_ Condes, _les_ Sevignes, etc., I was determined not to betray Henry by the whole House of Saxony in a single twelve-hours. I wonder whether this Bernhardt loves me? Perhaps, on his part, it was the longing for the girl he adores, as, on mine, it was longing for Henry that drew us together with electric force. And, of course, environment had something to do with it: moon, opportunity, Frederick Augustus's indolent _gaucherie_. Yes, why deny it, the good dinner we had, the champagne. CHAPTER XLVIII GRAND MISTRESS TELLS HUSBAND I KEEP A DIARY He wants to see it, but seems unsuspecting--Grand Mistress denies that she meant mischief, but I upbraid her unmercifully--Threaten to dismiss her like a thieving lackey. LOSCHWITZ, _May 1, 1901_. Frederick Augustus leaves tomorrow. Forever, I thought, when he put this question to me: "You are keeping a Diary, Louise?" I was frightened dumb. I stared at him. "What's the matter," he laughed. "I'm not going to eat you." He didn't seem to be at all perturbed. "How do you know I keep a Diary?" I stuttered. Nonchalantly enough he made answer: "Your bag-of-bones Baroness told me. Full of forbidden things, I suppose, since you regard it a state secret. You often say that my education was sadly neglected. Maybe I can learn a thing or two from your scribblings. Let's look 'm over."