So I am deemed unworthy to mother the children I bore; and a spy is officially appointed to watch my intercourse with the little ones lest I corrupt them. No other inference was to be drawn from the measure. "I will show them." But no sooner was the threat launched, than a great fear clutched at my heart. Was I in a position to defy them? To guard the purity of the royal children "is the King's first duty towards his family." If he had proof positive that I was an impure woman, there was no use quarrelling with his decision. Besides, moral delinquencies engender more than physical weakness. I felt my boasted energy ebbing away fast. "I am without strength, unnerved, because Henry left me," I lied to myself. The abandoned woman is either a tigress or a kitten. I happen to be no tigress. CHAPTER LII PRINCE GEORGE REVEALS TO ME THE DEPTH OF HIS HATRED A terrible interview--"The devil will come to claim you"--Uncertain how much the King and Prince George know--I break into the nursery and stay with my children all day--Prince George insults me in my own rooms and threatens prison if I disobey him. PILLNITZ, _May 23, 1901_. I caught Prince George in the park after laying in wait for him three long hours. "Why does Your Royal Highness forbid me to see my children?" I demanded, every nerve aquiver. "His Majesty's orders. He thinks you are not fit company for growing children. You are leading a godless life." "What does Your Royal Highness mean?" "What I said. A godless life, such as you entered upon, is an invitation to the devil. Sins are the devil's envoys. When you are black with sin, the devil himself will come to claim you." He dropped his theological lingo and continued: "My fine daughter-in-law wants to be everybody's lady-love. If she had her sweet will, she would ruin every young chap in the residence and the surrounding country." He looked about him and, seeing we were unobserved, eased his bile in this pretty epigram as rank as a serpent's saliva: "An adulterous wife, that's what you are. Satan alone knows how many you seduced." It was more than I could stand and I burst into tears. In moments like this women always cry, but even if I hadn't felt like doing so, I would have cried because George hates it. "Prove to me, prove to the King that you are sorry for what you have done, return to the path of righteousness, to God, and we will see about the children," he whispered as he moved away. "What does he know?" "How much have they found out?" I kept saying to myself as I withdrew to my lonely apartments. * * * * * PILLNITZ, _May 24, 1901_. No answer to the questions in my last entry. The silent persecution continues unabated. I am growing desperate. * * * * * PILLNITZ, _May 25, 1901_. This morning at eight-thirty I went to the nursery.