I arise every morning at five. At six a closed carriage takes me to a distant nunnery of the Ursulines, a good hour's travel. I am forced to attend mass, which also lasts an hour. Then a half-hour's sermon, dealing with fire and brimstone, hell and damnation. When that's over the Mother Superior kindly asks me to her cell and lectures me for an hour on the duties of a wife and mother, and on the terrors that follow in the wake of adultery. (I wonder where she gets her wisdom. She isn't married, she isn't supposed to have children, and she ought to know that the founder of her religion was most kind to the adulteress.) Then back to Pillnitz and breakfast, for it's the King's express command that I worship on an empty stomach; some Jesuit told George my sins would never be forgiven unless the torture of the fast was added to that of early rising, travel, prostration before the altar and listening to pious palaver. I stand it for my children's sake. They will be returned to me after I did penance full score. My only satisfaction: I compel the Tisch to attend me on my trips, and make her sit on the back seat of the carriage. I know this turns her stomach and watch her twitching face with devilish glee. * * * * * DRESDEN, _June 15, 1901_. With the authority of the pregnant woman I demanded that I be allowed to return to town. "If compelled to see Prince George and the rest of my enemies daily, my child will be mal-formed, or I will suffer an _avortement_," I told the King. They let me go and I am breathing more freely. I still wear the chain and ball, but they don't cut into my flesh as in Pillnitz. Yesterday I learned that Bernhardt was in Dresden, and sent for him. He came in company of two army officers who remained in the anteroom. "I am a prisoner," he said resignedly, "those fellows outside will conduct me to Nossen." The audience granted him several months ago took place only after my departure from the summer residence, and developed into a fearful scene. "His Majesty," said Bernhardt, "was in a rage when I entered. 'State what you have to say,' said the King, 'and be brief.' "'If Your Majesty will graciously permit me to reside in Dresden, I will promise to lead a life in accordance with Your Majesty's intentions and will obey your slightest wish.' "'What?' cried the King, 'You dare name conditions for your good conduct?'" Bernhardt denied any intention to impose conditions, but begged to submit to His Majesty that he couldn't exist in those small garrisons. If in Dresden, it would come easier to him to turn over a new leaf. "Sure, all you young rakes want to live in the capital," sneered the King, "because it's easy in a big town to hide one's delinquencies." "Your Majesty," cried Bernhardt, "if I ever did a reprehensible thing, it was forced upon me by intolerable conditions." The King grew white with rage.