And now in the strictest confidence, a matter near my heart, which robs me of all rest, makes me incapable of anything and drives me to despair. I stand in danger of losing my honour and my reputation which gave me so much power over our people. Think, my sister-in-law is expecting a child.[585] I have for this purpose sent to Euriphon in Athens to solicit the marriage licence and Promotorial from Rome, you see how much depends on this and that no time must be lost; every minute is precious. But if the dispensation does not arrive, what shall I do? How shall I make amends to the person since I alone am to blame? We have already tried several ways to get rid of the child; she herself was resolved for anything. But Euriphon is too timid and yet I see no other expedient, if I could ensure the silence of Celsus he could help me and indeed he already promised me this three years ago....[586] If you can help me out of this dilemma, you will give me back life, honour, peace and power to work.... I do not know what devil led me astray, I who always in these circumstances took extreme precautions.[587] A little later Weishaupt writes again: All fatalities happen to me at the same time. Now there is my mother dead! Corpse, wedding, christening all in a short time, one on the top of the other. What a wonderful mix-up [_mischmasch_]![588] So much for what Mr. Gould calls the "rare qualities" of Weishaupt's heart. Let us now listen to the testimony of Weishaupt's principal coadjutor, Philo (the Baron von Knigge), to whom the "historian of Freemasonry" refers as "a lovable enthusiast." In all subversive associations, whether open or secret, directed by men who aim at power, a moment is certain to arrive when the ambitions of the leaders come into conflict. This is the history of every revolutionary organization during the last 150 years. It was when the inevitable climax had been reached between Weishaupt and Knigge that "Philo" wrote to "the most loving Cato" in the following terms: It is not Mahomed and A. who are so much to blame for my break with Spartacus, as the Jesuitical conduct of this man which has so often turned us against each other in order to rule despotically over men, who, if they have not perhaps such a rich imagination as himself, also do not possess so much cuteness and cunning, etc.[589] In a further letter Philo goes on to enumerate the services he has rendered to Weishaupt in the past: