What they need is a Roosevelt for police commissioner. They tell a story of Roosevelt when he was police commissioner in New York. One evening he saw a policeman standing before a saloon back entrance about to take a drink of beer. “What is your name?” asked Roosevelt. “It is none of your business; what is your name?” said the cop. “My name is Roosevelt,” was the answer. The policeman finished his beer, wiped his mouth on his sleeve, and said, “If your name is really Roosevelt then I guess my name is Dennis” (a slang phrase in America, used in the sense that he was discharged). The quick reply saved him from more than a reprimand. This reminds me of a story of the judge in Kentucky who had a man up for making illicit whisky. “What is your name?” he asked the prisoner, and was answered, “Joshua.” The judge smiled on the court, and said, “Joshua, Joshua, it seems to me that I have heard that name before. Oh yes! you are the fellow who made the sun stand still.” “No,” replied the prisoner, “I am that Joshua who made the moonshine still” (the name given to an illicit distillery). CHAPTER XXIX Tequila—Mexican respect for the white man—Personal vengeance preferred to Law—Mexican stoicism—Victims of red tape. Tequila, which is the common drink in Guadalajara, is fermented and distilled pulque. Pulque is the fresh sap of the maguey or “century” plant (one of the big-leafed cacti), tasting something like sweet cider. Like “tari” in India, it is practically non-intoxicating when fresh, but when fermented is very much so, and when distilled into tequila it is something like Indian “arrak,” and has the effect of driving most men fighting-crazy. An ordinary tumblerful sells for six cents, so the very poorest can afford it, and practically every one, men and women, drink it. The police are very indulgent with drunks, and generally leave them alone if they can zig-zag within the confines of the street. Even when they do have to arrest them they handle them tenderly. For instance, one night I saw a drunk, on his way to the lock-up, sit down in the middle of the street and swear by all the calendar that he would go no farther until he had another drink. After remonstrating and arguing in vain one of the police went and got him a drink, when he arose and went peaceably along.