He ceased working, and slightly nodded to Evarne. She stood up,
stretched her arms over her head, gave a couple of tiny kicks to take
the stiffness from one of her knees, then slipped behind the screen that
formed a temporary dressing-room. She reappeared, clad in a loose
crimson wrapper, and sat down by the fire.
The young men joined her.
"You heard what we were talking about, of course, Miss Stornway?"
questioned Towning. "Is there a 'Belle Dame' among your friends?"
But Evarne was unable to render assistance. She knew of two models with
red-gold hair, but the accompanying round, rosy faces and _retroussé_
noses of both were in no way mystic and interesting. All she could do
was to promise to remember the requirement, and to send any likely
damsel along for inspection.
"Thank you. But you're about the fiftieth person who's on the lookout,"
returned Jack Hardy ruefully.
When he finally took his departure, he walked slowly back to Kensington,
a cloud of discontent upon his brow. His mind was full of his picture,
the great work he was longing to commence, yet--morbidly conscious of
his own limitations--he was resolutely determined not to start without
having found a suitable model for the central figure.
"I _must_ get on! I _must_ make headway! All my youth is passing!"
He almost snarled these words aloud. Earnest, enthusiastic, patiently
hard-working, Jack Hardy was devoid of one spark of divine inspiration,
and knew it but too well for his peace of mind. He saw his own handiwork
without gloss or glamour; viewed it as it was in stern reality, good in
composition, in technique, but commonplace--oh! Phoebus Apollo and all
ye Muses--how sadly commonplace! Not a man or woman, trained and
practised as he was, but could have done equally well. In the ripest
fruit of his hand and brain there was absolutely nothing individual;
scarce a trace of originality; no magnetism, no grip. Never had Jack
Hardy completed a work, and looking upon it said within himself: "None
but I could have produced just this result. Only the combination of
heart and brain and soul and knowledge that makes Me could have evolved
this picture. I myself am in it."
As a student, a great future had been prophesied for him, and in those
days he had believed in himself. But time had glided by, his thirtieth
year was past, his powers had matured without enlarging their scope, and
with bitter reluctance he commenced to realise that he now saw the full
extent to which his capacity would ever attain. He might become more
certain, more facile, but nothing else. No longer could he still look
forward and upward, confident in what would be revealed when the summit
of the hill he so laboriously climbed was reached. He was there, and lo!
it was but the crowded tableland of mediocrity!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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