The Roman Senate had been engaged for a number of days [Sidenote: C] in
debating a secret matter of policy. As it gave rise to much
mystification and conjecture, a woman—otherwise irreproachable, but
still a woman—kept pestering her husband and imploring him to tell her
the secret. On her oath, she would be silent: if not, might a curse fall
upon her. She wept and wailed because she was ‘not trusted’. From a
desire to bring home her folly by a proof, the Roman said, ‘Have your
way, wife. But the news is terribly ominous. We have been informed by
the priests that a lark has been seen flying about with a gold helmet
and a spear. We are therefore discussing the portent, and are inquiring,
with the help of the augurs, whether it is good or bad. But mind you
tell nobody.’ With these words he went off to the Forum. The wife at
once seized hold of [Sidenote: D] the first maid-servant to enter the
room, and, beating her own breast and tearing her hair, exclaimed, ‘O my
poor husband and country! What will become of us?‘, her wish being to
give the maid the opportunity of asking ‘Why, what has happened?’ At any
rate she took the question as put, and told the tale, adding the
invariable refrain of every babbler, ‘Tell no one about it, but hold
your tongue.’ The girl no sooner left her than she looked for the
fellow-servant who had least to do, and [Sidenote: E] imparted it to
her. She in turn told it to her lover, who was paying her a visit. The
story went rolling on so rapidly that it reached the Forum before the
man who had invented it, and he was met by an acquaintance, who said,
‘Have you just come down from home?’ ‘This minute,’ he replied. ‘Then
you haven’t heard anything?’ ‘No. Why? Is there any news?’ ‘A lark has
been seen flying about with a gold helmet and a spear, and the
magistrates are about to hold a Senate meeting on the matter.’ At this
the man exclaimed with a laugh, ‘O wife, wife! What a speed! To think
the story has got to the Forum ahead of me!’ First he interviewed the
magistrates and relieved their anxiety; then, on going home, [Sidenote:
F] he proceeded to punish his wife by saying, ‘Wife, you have been the
ruin of me. The secret is public property, and the fault has been traced
to my house. And so I am to be exiled, all because of your loose
tongue.’ Upon her attempting to deny it by arguing ‘But there were three
hundred who heard it as well as you’, he retorted ‘Pooh for your three
hundred! I invented it to try you, all because of your persistence’.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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