It is a long narrow pocket opening on a little street which runs like a
tortuous seam up and down the city, over there. It was at the end of the
summer; and in summer, in the evening, the mouth of the pocket is hard
to find, because of the people, in it and about, who sit across the
passage, gasping at the dirty winds that come loafing down the street
like crafty beggars seeking a hole to sleep in--like mean beggars,
bereft of the spirit of free windhood. Down in the pocket itself the air
is quite dead; one feels oneself enveloped in a scum-covered pool of it,
and at every breath long filaments of invisible roots, swamp-roots, tear
and tangle in your floundering lungs.
I had to go to the very end, to the bottom of the pocket. There, in the
deepest of these alley-holes, lives the woman to whom I am indebted for
the whiteness of this waist I wear. How she does it, I don't know;
poverty works miracles like that, just as the black marsh mud gives out
lilies.
At the very last door I knocked, and presently a man's voice, weak and
suffocated, called from a window above. I explained.--"There's a chair
there; sit down. She'll be home soon." And the voice was caught in a
cough.
This, then, was the consumptive husband she had told me of! I looked up
at the square hole dimly outlined in the darkness, whence the cough
issued, and suddenly felt a horrible pressure at my heart and a curious
sense of entanglement, as if all the invisible webs of disease had
momentarily acquired a conscious sense of prey within their clutch, and
tightened on it like an octopus. The haunting terror of the unknown, the
dim horror of an inimic Presence, recoil before the merciless creeping
and floating of an enemy one cannot grasp or fight, repulsive turning
from a Thing that has reached behind while you have been seeking to face
it, that is there awaiting you with the frightful ironic laughter of the
Silence--all this swept round and through me as I stared up through the
night.
Up there on the bed he was lying, he who had been meshed in the fatal
web for three long years--and was struggling still! In the darkness I
felt his breath draw.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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