Selections from the Writings of KierkegaardKierkegaard, Søren
Religion
Selections from the Writings of Kierkegaard
Kierkegaard, Søren
Philosophy; Theology
He who has once committed a piece of folly will constantly be
pursued by its consequences. In the case of marriage the folly
consists in one's having gotten into a mess, and the punishment,
in recognizing, when it is too late, what one has done. So you will
find that the married man, now, becomes chesty, with a bit of
pathos, thinking he has done something remarkable in having entered
wedlock; now, puts his tail between his legs in dejection; then
again, praises marriage in sheer self-defense. But as to a thought-unit
which might serve to hold together the _disjecta membra_[43]
of the most heterogeneous conceptions of life contained in marriage--for
that we shall wait in vain.
Therefore, to be a mere Benedict is humbug, and to be a seducer is
humbug, and to wish to experiment with woman for the sake of "the
joke" is also humbug. In fact, the two last mentioned methods will
be seen to involve concessions to woman on the part of man quite
as large as those found in marriage. The seducer wishes to rise
in his own estimation by deceiving her; but this very fact that
he deceives and wishes to deceive--that he cares to deceive, is
also a demonstration of his dependence on woman. And the same
holds true of him who wishes to experiment with her.
If I were to imagine any possible relation with woman it would
be one so saturated with reflection that it would, for that very
reason, no longer be any relation with her at all. To be an excellent
husband and yet on the sly seduce every girl; to seem a seducer and
yet harbor within one all the ardor of romanticism--there would be
something to that, for the concession in the first instance were
then annihilated in the second. Certain it is that man finds his
true ideality only in such a reduplication. All merely unconscious
existence must be obliterated, and its obliteration ever cunningly
guarded by some sham expression. Such a reduplication is incomprehensible
to woman, for it removes from her the possibility of expressing man's
true nature in one term. If it were, possible for woman to exist in
such a reduplication, no erotic relation with her were thinkable. But,
her nature being such as we all know it to be, any disturbance of the
erotic relation is brought about by man's true nature which ever
consists precisely in the annihilation of that in which she has
her being.
Am I then preaching the monastic life and rightly called Eremita? By
no means. You may as well eliminate the cloister, for after all it
is only a direct expression of spirituality and as such but a vain
endeavor to express it in direct terms. It makes small difference
whether you use gold, or silver, or paper money; but he who does not
spend a farthing but is counterfeit, he will comprehend me. He
to whom every direct expression is but a fraud, he and he only,
is safeguarded better than if he lived in a cloister-cell--he
will be a hermit even if he travelled in an omnibus day and night.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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