Great Britain -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Self-control -- Fiction; Women -- Fiction
'The sound of it is very uncouth to a stranger,' said Captain
Montreville, 'but now I have learnt to like it.' 'And do them there wild
men make you wear them little red and green petticoats?' asked Mrs
Jones, in a tone of compassionate inquiry. 'Oh no,' said Captain
Montreville, 'they never interfered with my dress. But you seem quite
acquainted with the Highlands. May I ask if you have been there?' 'Aye,
that I have, to my sorrow,' said Mrs Jones; and forthwith proceeded to
recount her adventures, pretty nearly in the same terms as she had
formerly done to Laura. 'And what was the name of this unfortunate
place,' inquired the captain, when, having narrated the deficiency of
hot rolls, Mrs Jones made the pause in which her auditors were
accustomed to express their astonishment and horror. 'That was what I
asked the waiter often and often,' replied she, 'but I could never make
head or tail of what he said. Sometimes it sounded like _A rookery_;
sometimes like one thing, sometimes like another. So I takes the
roadbook, and looks it out, and it looked something like A rasher, only
not right spelt. So, thinks I, they'll call it _A rasher_, because there
is good bacon here; and I asked the man if they were famous for pigs;
and he said, no, they got all their pigs from the manufactory in
Glasgow, and that they weren't famous for any thing but fresh herrings,
as are catched in that black Loch-Lomond, where they wanted me to go.'
'Kate,' said Mr Jones, setting down his tea-cup, and settling his hands
upon his knees, 'you know I think you're wrong about them herrings.' 'Mr
Jones,' returned the lady, with a look that shewed that the herrings had
been the subject of former altercation, 'for certain the waiter told me
that they came out of the loch, and to what purpose should he tell lies
about it.' 'I tells you, Kate, that herrings come out of the sea,' said
Mr Jones. 'Well, that loch is a great fresh water sea,' said Mrs Jones.
'Out of the salt sea,' insisted Mr Jones. 'Aye,' said Mrs Jones, 'them
salt herrings as we gets here, but it stands to reason, Mr Jones, that
the fresh herrings should come out of fresh water.' 'I say, cod is
fresh, and does'n't it come out of the sea? answer me that, Mrs Jones.'
'It is no wonder the cod is fresh,' returned the lady, 'when the
fishmongers keep fresh water running on it day and night.' 'Kate, it's
of no use argufying, I say herrings come out of the sea. What say you,
Sir?' turning to Captain Montreville. The Captain softened his verdict
in the gentleman's favour, by saying, that Mrs Jones was right in her
account of the waiter's report, though the man, in speaking of 'the
loch,' meant not Loch-Lomond, but an arm of the sea. 'I know'd it,' said
Mr Jones triumphantly, 'for haven't I read it in the newspaper as
Government offers a reward to any body that'll put most salt upon them
Scotch herrings, and is'n't that what makes the salt so dear?' So having
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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