Great Britain -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Self-control -- Fiction; Women -- Fiction
As she left the little garden that surrounded her lodgings, she
perceived an old man who had taken shelter by one of the pillars of the
gate. He shivered in the cold, which found easy entrance through the
rags that covered him, and famine glared from his hollow eye. His gray
hair streamed on the wind, as he held out the tattered remains of a hat,
and said, 'Please to help me, Lady.--I am very poor.' He spoke in the
dialect of her native land, and the accents went to Laura's heart;--for
Laura was in the land of strangers. She had never been deaf to the
petitions of the poor; for all the poor of Glenalbert were known to her;
and she knew that what she spared from her own comforts, was not made
the minister of vice. Her purse was already in her hand, ere she
remembered that to give was become a crime.
As the thought crossed her, she started like one who had escaped from
sudden danger. 'No, I must not give you money,' said she, and returned
the purse into her pocket, with a pang that taught her the true
bitterness of poverty. 'I am cold and hungry,' said the man still
pleading, and taking encouragement from Laura's relenting eye. 'Hungry!'
repeated Laura, 'then come with me, and I will give you bread;' and she
returned to the house to bestow on the old man the humble fare which she
had before destined to supply her own wants for the day, glad to
purchase by a longer fast the right to feed the hungry.
'In what respect am I better than this poor creature,' said she to
herself, as she returned with the beggar to the gate, 'that I should
offer to him with ease, and even with pleasure, what I myself cannot ask
without pain. Surely I do not rightly believe that we are of the same
dust! The same frail, sinful, perishable, dust!'
But it was in vain that Laura continued to argue with herself. In this
instance she could only do her duty; she could not love it. Her heart
filled, and the tears rose to her eyes. She dashed them away--but they
rose again.
When she found herself in Grosvenor Street, she paused for a moment.
'What if Lady Pelham should deny my request? dismiss me as a bold
intruder? Why, then,' said Laura, raising her head, and again advancing
with a firmer step, 'I shall owe no obligation to a stranger.'
She approached the house--she ascended the steps. Almost breathless she
laid her hand upon the knocker. At that moment she imagined her entrance
through files of insolent domestics into a room filled with gay company.
She anticipated the inquisitive glances--shrunk in fancy from the
supercilious examination; and she again drew back her hand. 'I shall
never have courage to face all this,' thought she. While we hesitate, a
trifle turns the scale. Laura perceived that she had drawn the attention
of a young man on the pavement, who stood gazing on her with familiar
curiosity; and she knocked, almost before she was sensible that she
intended it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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