Great Britain -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Self-control -- Fiction; Women -- Fiction
He then repaired to meet Lord Bellamer; and, the ground being taken,
Hargrave's first ball penetrated Lord Bellamer's left shoulder, who then
fired without effect, and instantly fell. Hargrave, whose humanity had
returned with his temper, accompanied his wounded antagonist to a
neighbouring cottage to which he was conveyed, anxiously procured for
him every possible comfort, and heard with real joy, that if he could be
kept from fever, his wound was not likely to be mortal. The gentleman
who had been Hargrave's second, offered to remain near Lord Bellamer, in
order to give warning to his friend should any danger occur; and it was
late in the evening before Hargrave, alone and comfortless, returned to
town.
Never had his own thoughts been such vexatious companions. To his own
scared conscience his crimes might have seemed trivial; but when he
placed them before him in the light in which he knew that they would be
viewed by Laura, their nature seemed changed. He knew that she would
find no plea in the custom of the times, for endangering the life of a
fellow-creature, and that her moral vocabulary contained no qualifying
epithet to palliate the foulness of adultery. The next day would give
publicity to his duel and its cause; and should the report reach Laura's
ear, what could he hope from her favour? The bribes of love and ambition
he had found too poor to purchase her sanction to the bare intention of
a crime. Even the intention seemed forgiven only in the hope of luring
him to the paths of virtue: and when she should know the failure of that
hope, would not her forgiveness be withdrawn?
But Laura, thus on the point of being lost, was more dear to him than
ever; and often did he wish that he had fallen by Lord Bellamer's hand,
rather than that he should live to see himself the object of her
indifference, perhaps aversion. Time still remained, however, by one
desperate effort to hurry or terrify her into immediate compliance with
his wishes; and, half-distracted with the emotions of remorse, and love,
and hope, and fear, he ordered his carriage to Montreville's house. Here
passed the scene which has been already described. Hargrave was too much
agitated to attend to the best methods of persuasion, and he quitted
Laura in the full conviction that she would never be his wife. He threw
himself into his carriage, and was driven home, now frantickly bewailing
his loss, now vowing, that rather than endure it, he would incur the
penalties of every law, divine and human. All night he paced his
apartment, uttering imprecations on his own folly, and forming plans for
regaining by fraud, force, or persuasion, his lost rights over Laura. At
last his vehemence having somewhat spent itself, he threw himself on a
couch, and sunk into feverish and interrupted sleep.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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