Great Britain -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Self-control -- Fiction; Women -- Fiction
Lady Pelham called loudly for help; and, while the servants were
administering it, stood by conjecturing what could be the cause of
Laura's illness; wondering whether it could have any possible connection
with Colonel Hargrave; or whether it were the effect of mere
constitutional habit.
The moment Laura shewed signs of recollection, Lady Pelham began her
interrogation. 'What has been the matter my dear? What made you ill? Did
any thing affect you? Are you subject to faintings?' Laura remained
silent, and, closing her eyes, seemed deaf to all her aunt's questions.
After a pause, Lady Pelham renewed the attack.--'Have you any concern
with Colonel Hargrave, Laura?' 'None,' answered Laura, with a smile of
ineffable bitterness; and again closing her eyes, maintained an
obstinate silence. Weary of ineffectual inquiries, Lady Pelham quitted
her, giving orders, that she should be assisted into bed, and
recommending to her to take some rest.
Vain advice! Laura could not rest! From the stupor which had overpowered
her faculties, she awoke to the full conviction, that all her earthly
prospects were for ever darkened. Just entering on life, she seemed
already forsaken of all its hopes, and all its joys. The affections
which had delighted her youth were torn from the bleeding soul; no
sacred connection remained to bless her maturity; no endearment awaited
her decline. In all her long and dreary journey to the grave, she saw no
kindly resting-place. Still Laura's hopes and wishes had never been
bounded to this narrow sphere; and when she found here no rest for the
sole of her foot, she had, in the promises of religion, an ark whither
she could turn for shelter. But how should she forget that these
promises extended not to Hargrave. How shut her ear to the dread voice
which, in threatening the adulterer and the murderer, denounced
vengeance against Hargrave! With horror unspeakable she considered his
incorrigible depravity; with agony, revolved its fearful consequences.
Yet, while the guilt was hateful in her eyes, her heart was full of love
and compassion for the offender. The feeling with which she remembered
his unfaithfulness to her had no resemblance to jealousy. 'He has been
misled,' she cried; 'vilely betrayed by a wretch, who has taken
advantage of his weakness. Oh how could she look on that form, that
countenance, and see in them only the objects of a passion, vile as the
heart that cherished it.'--Then she would repent of her want of
candour.--'I am unjust, I am cruel,' she said, 'thus to load with all
the burden of this foul offence, her who had perhaps the least share in
it.--No! He must have been the tempter; it is not in woman to be so
lost.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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