Great Britain -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Self-control -- Fiction; Women -- Fiction
The next day found De Courcy again at Walbourne; and again he enjoyed a
long and private interview with Laura. Though their conversation turned
only on indifferent subjects, De Courcy observed the settled melancholy
which had taken possession of her mind. It was no querulous complaining
sorrow, but a calm sadness, banishing all the cheerful illusions of a
life which it still valued as the preparation for a better. To that
better world all her hopes and wishes seemed already fled; and the saint
herself seemed waiting, with resigned desire, for permission to depart.
De Courcy's fears assigned to her melancholy its true cause. He would
have given worlds to know the real state of her sentiments, and to
ascertain how far her attachment had survived the criminality of
Hargrave. But he had not courage to probe the painful wound. He could
not bear to inflict upon Laura even momentary anguish; perhaps he even
feared to know the full extent of those regrets which she lavished on
his rival. With scrupulous delicacy he avoided approaching any subject
which could at all lead her thoughts towards the cause of her sorrow,
and never even seemed to notice the dejection which wounded him to the
soul.
'The spring of her mind is for ever destroyed,' said he to Mrs De
Courcy, 'and yet she retains all her angelic benevolence. She strives to
make pleasing to others, the objects that will never more give pleasure
to her.' Mrs De Courcy expressed affectionate concern, but added, 'I
never knew of a sorrow incurable at nineteen. We must bring Laura to
Norwood, and find employments for her suited to her kindly nature.
Meanwhile do you exert yourself to rouse her; and, till she is well
enough to leave home, I shall freely resign to her all my claims upon
your time.' De Courcy faithfully profited by his mother's permission,
and found almost every day an excuse for visiting Walbourne. Sometimes
he brought a book which he read aloud to the ladies; sometimes he
borrowed one, which he chose to return in person; now he wished to shew
Laura a medal, and now he had some particularly fine flower-seeds for
Lady Pelham. Chemical experiments were an excellent pretext; for they
were seldom completed at a visit, and the examination of one created a
desire for another. Laura was not insensible to his attentions. She
believed that he attributed whatever was visible of her depression to
regrets for her father; and she was by turns ashamed of permitting her
weakness to wear the mask of filial piety, and thankful that she escaped
the degradation of being pitied as a love-sick girl. But love had now no
share in Laura's melancholy. Compassion, strong indeed to a painful
excess, was the only gentle feeling that mingled with the pain of
remembering Hargrave. Who that, in early youth, gives way to the
chilling conviction, that nothing on earth will ever again kindle a wish
or a hope, can look without sadness on the long pilgrimage that spreads
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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