Great Britain -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Self-control -- Fiction; Women -- Fiction
The ideas which Laura was labouring to introduce into the mind of
Hargrave were such as he had of late too successfully endeavoured to
exclude. They had intruded like importunate creditors; till, oft refused
admittance, they had ceased to return. The same arts which he had used
to disguise from himself the extent of his criminality, he now naturally
employed to extenuate it in the sight of Laura. He assured her that he
was less guilty than she supposed; that she could form no idea of the
force of the temptation which had overcome him; that Lady Bellamer was
less the victim of his passions than of her own; he vehemently protested
that he despised and abhorred the wanton who had undone him; and that,
even in the midst of a folly for which he now execrated himself, his
affections had never wandered from their first object. While he spoke,
Laura in confusion cast down her eyes, and offended modesty suffused her
face and neck with crimson. She could indeed form no idea of a heart
which, attached to one woman, could find any temptation in the
allurements of another. But when he ended, virtuous indignation flashing
in her countenance, 'For shame, Sir!' said she. 'If any thing could
degrade you in my eyes it were this mean attempt to screen yourself
behind the partner of your wickedness. Does it lessen your guilt that it
had not even the poor excuse of passion; or think you that, even in the
hours of a weakness for which you have given me such just reason to
despise myself, I could have prized the affections of a heart so
depraved? You say you detest your crime; I fear you only detest its
punishment; for, were you really repentant, my opinion, the opinion of
the whole world, would seem to you a trifle unworthy of regard, and the
utmost bitterness of censure be but an echo to your own
self-upbraidings.'
Hargrave had no inclination to discuss the nature of repentance. His
sole desire was to wrest from Laura some token, however slight, of
returning tenderness. For this purpose he employed all the eloquence
which he had often found successful in similar attempts. But no two
things can be more different in their effects, than the language of
passion poured into the sympathizing bosom of mutual love, or addressed
to the dull ear of indifference. The expressions which Laura once
thought capable of warming the coldest heart seemed now the mere ravings
of insanity; the lamentations which she once thought might have softened
rocks, now appeared the weak complainings of a child for his lost toy.
With a mixture of pity and disgust she listened and replied; till the
entrance of Lady Pelham put a period to the dialogue, and Laura
immediately quitted the room.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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