Self-Raised; Or, From the DepthsSouthworth, Emma Dorothy Eliza Nevitte
General
Self-Raised; Or, From the Depths
Southworth, Emma Dorothy Eliza Nevitte
Fiction
"But I thought--"
And there she stopped and blushed.
Lady Hurstmonceux understood her, smiled, and answered:
"You thought that I was a Jewess. Well, I was born and brought up in
the Jewish faith. But it is now many years, Lady Vincent, since I
embraced the Christian religion."
"I am very glad! I am very, very glad! Ah! I am but a poor, unworthy
Christian myself, yet I do rejoice in every soul converted to
Christ," said Claudia warmly, clasping the hand of her hostess; and,
while holding it, she continued to say: "I do love to live in an
atmosphere of Christianity, and I hate to live out of it. That was
one reason, among others, why I was so unutterably wretched at
Castle Cragg. They were such irredeemable atheists. There was never
a visit to church, never a prayer, never a grace, never a chapter
from the Bible, never any sort of acknowledgment of their Creator,
never the slightest regard to his laws. Lord Vincent and Mrs. Dugald
would sit down and play cards through a whole Sabbath evening, as
upon any other. Oh, it was dreadful. Looking back upon my life among
them, I wonder--yes, wonder--how I ever could have lived through it!
Coming from that place to this, Lady Hurstmonceux, is like coming
from something very like hell to something very like heaven."
"You were tortured in many ways, my poor Claudia. You are now off
the rack, that is all. And now, I suppose, we are to go to St.
Giles'?"
"If you please, yes; I should like to do so."
Lady Hurstmonceux rang the bell and ordered the carriage. And then
the friends arose from the breakfast table and retired to prepare
for church.
They enjoyed a beautiful drive of seven miles through a wildly
picturesque country, and entered the town and reached the church in
time for the opening of the services.
The preacher of the day was a very worthy successor of John Knox,
having all the faith and hope, and a good deal more of charity than
that grand old prophet of wrath had ever displayed.
This was the first divine worship that Claudia had engaged in for
many months. It revived, comforted, and strengthened her.
She left the church in a better mood of mind than she had perhaps
ever experienced in the whole course of her life. Her inmost thought
was this:
"God enriched my life with the most bountiful blessings. But by sins
turned them all into curses and brought my sorrows upon me. I will
repent of my sins, I will accept my sorrows. God from his own mercy
and not from my deserts has brought me thus far alive through my
troubles; he has raised up a friend to succor me. I will bow down in
penitence, in humility, in gratitude before him, and I will try to
serve him truly in the future, and I will trust all that future to
him."
They reached home to a late dinner, and spent the evening in such
serious reading and conversation and sacred music as befitted the
day. Not one dull hour had Claudia experienced during her residence
at Cameron Court.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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