Sentimental Tommy: The Story of His BoyhoodBarrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
History
Sentimental Tommy: The Story of His Boyhood
Barrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
London (England) -- History -- 19th century -- Fiction
The doctor was among the listeners, almost the only dry-eyed one, but he
was not dry-eyed because he felt the artless story least. Again and
again he rose from his chair restlessly, and Grizel thought he scowled
at her when he was really scowling at himself; as soon as she had
finished he cleared the room brusquely of all intruders, and then he
turned on her passionately.
"Think shame of yoursel'," he thundered, "for keeping me in the dark,"
and of course she took his words literally, though their full meaning
was, "I shall scorn myself from this hour for not having won the poor
child's confidence."
Oh, he was a hard man, Grizel thought, the hardest of them all. But she
was used to standing up to hard men, and she answered, defiantly: "I did
mean to tell you, that day you sent me with the bottle to Ballingall, I
was waiting at the surgery door to tell you, but you were cruel, you
said I was a thief, and then how could I tell you?"
This, too, struck home, and the doctor winced, but what he said was,
"You fooled me for a whole week, and the town knows it; do you think I
can forgive you for that?"
"I don't care whether you forgive me," replied Grizel at once.
"Nor do I care whether you care," he rapped out, all the time wishing he
could strike himself; "but I'm the doctor of this place, and when your
mother was ill you should have come straight to me. What had I done that
you should be afraid of me?"
"I am not afraid of you," she replied, "I am not afraid of anyone, but
mamma was afraid of you because she knew you had said cruel things about
her, and I thought--I won't tell you what I thought." But with a little
pressing she changed her mind and told him. "I was not sure whether you
would come to see her, though I asked you, and if you came I knew you
would tell her she was dying, and that would have made her scream. And
that is not all, I thought you might tell her that she would be buried
with a stake through her--"
"Oh, these blackguard laddies!" cried McQueen, clenching his fists.
"And so I dared not tell you," Grizel concluded calmly; "I am not
frightened at you, but I was frightened you would hurt my dear darling
mamma," and she went and stood defiantly between him and her mother.
The doctor moved up and down the room, crying, "How did I not know of
this, why was I not told?" and he knew that the fault had been his own,
and so was furious when Grizel told him so.
"Yes, it is," she insisted, "you knew mamma was an unhappy lady, and
that the people shouted things against her and terrified her; and you
must have known, for everybody knew, that she was sometimes silly and
wandered about all night, and you are a big strong man, and so you
should have been sorry for her; and if you had been sorry you would have
come to see her and been kind to her, and then you would have found it
all out."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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