The young lady is indeed an object of compassion who feels her
mother's company irksome and onerous. At your age the heart is
confiding and effusive, and it needs some bosom in which to repose
its confidence; for it would be subjecting it to an ordeal too rude,
and exposing it perhaps to a fatal reaction, by completely depriving
it of consolations derived from acquaintances approved by every law,
human and divine. It should be treated with moderation, founded on
prudence, as undue severity renders its desires and needs more
imperative.
But if it is dangerous to restrict the heart to silence and inaction
it is much more dangerous to feed it on frivolous affections. There
is nothing that exhausts its energies so much as an over-indulgence
in those puerile sentiments fed by the imagination. Those sentiments
create within it a void which nothing can fill, and destroy its love
for everything that is noble and generous.
A frivolous heart is not less disastrous to woman than is a
frivolous mind. How many women find themselves disarmed and powerless
in important circumstances of life, for having neglected in youth the
training of the heart's affections! How many are unequal to the task
of discharging a painful duty, because they were wont to seek their
pleasure in all they did from early childhood! How many who, spite of
the chastisement of adversity and deception incurred by their
idolizing preference for their levity and affections, still remain
the dupes of their blind attachment even in their old age! Your
esteem for your own heart, and appreciation for its affections,
should be highly noteworthy, and deeply graven in your mind by the
constant habit of prizing them.
When you feel an attraction for a young person of your own age, do
not blindly obey it, before having maturely studied its nature and
motives. We should always act for a purpose worthy of ourselves, but
more especially so when there is question of delivering ourselves
over to the confidence and friendship of others; for in this mutual
exchange we dispose of the greater part of our being. In this
intimate relation, which is formed insensibly by repeated interviews,
there is formed a reciprocal discernment that exercises a powerful
influence over all the faculties of the soul, the convictions of the
minds, the sentiments of the heart, the habits of character, and
often even over the general deportment.
The good sense of our fathers has expressed this truth by one of
those proverbs so familiar to them: "_Tell me your company and I
know who you are._" Of course you have frequently heard those
words, and knowing their meaning withal, perhaps you have not
considered the circumstances wherein they may be applied. We
earnestly wish that they may never be employed relative to you, at
the expense of the joy of your heart or the peace of your conscience.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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