Books and reading -- Great Britain; Conduct of life; Social problems; Women
“Ah, wasteful woman!—she who may
On her sweet self set her own price,
Knowing he cannot choose but pay—
How has she cheapen’d Paradise!
How given for nought her priceless gift,
How spoiled the bread and spill’d the wine,
Which, spent with due respective thrift,
Had made brutes men, and men divine!” {24}
Thus much, then, respecting the relations of lovers I believe you will
accept. But what we too often doubt is the fitness of the continuance of
such a relation throughout the whole of human life. We think it right in
the lover and mistress, not in the husband and wife. That is to say, we
think that a reverent and tender duty is due to one whose affection we
still doubt, and whose character we as yet do but partially and distantly
discern; and that this reverence and duty are to be withdrawn when the
affection has become wholly and limitlessly our own, and the character
has been so sifted and tried that we fear not to entrust it with the
happiness of our lives. Do you not see how ignoble this is, as well as
how unreasonable? Do you not feel that marriage,—when it is marriage at
all,—is only the seal which marks the vowed transition of temporary into
untiring service, and of fitful into eternal love?
But how, you will ask, is the idea of this guiding function of the woman
reconcilable with a true wifely subjection? Simply in that it is a
_guiding_, not a determining, function. Let me try to show you briefly
how these powers seem to be rightly distinguishable.
We are foolish, and without excuse foolish, in speaking of the
“superiority” of one sex to the other, as if they could be compared in
similar things. Each has what the other has not: each completes the
other, and is completed by the other: they are in nothing alike, and the
happiness and perfection of both depends on each asking and receiving
from the other what the other only can give.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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