Sevenoaks: A Story of TodayHolland, J. G. (Josiah Gilbert)
General
Sevenoaks: A Story of Today
Holland, J. G. (Josiah Gilbert)
Didactic fiction; Political fiction; Social problems -- Fiction
It was a strange manifestation of his brutal nature that at this moment
of his trouble, and this epoch of his cruelty and crime, he longed for
the comfort of a woman's sympathy. He was too much absorbed by his
affairs to be moved by that which was basest in his regard for his
beautiful idol. If he could feel her hand upon his forehead; if she
could tell him that she was sorry for him; if he could know that she
loved him; ay, if he could be assured that this woman, whom he had
believed to be capable of guilt, had prayed for him, it would have been
balm to his heart. He was sore with struggle, and guilt, and defeat. He
longed for love and tenderness. As if he were a great bloody dog, just
coming from the fight of an hour, in which he had been worsted, and
seeking for a tender hand to pat his head, and call him "poor, good old
fellow," the General longed for a woman's loving recognition. He was in
his old mood of self-pity. He wanted to be petted, smoothed,
commiserated, reassured; and there was only one woman in all the world
from whom such ministry would be grateful.
He knew that Mrs. Dillingham had heard of his loss, for she heard of and
read everything. He wanted her to know that it had not shaken him. He
would not for the world have her suppose that he was growing poor. Still
to appear to her as a person of wealth and power; still to hold her
confidence as a man of multiplied resources, was, perhaps, the deepest
ambition that moved him. He had found that he could not use her in the
management of his affairs. Though from the first, up to the period of
her acquaintance with Harry Benedict, she had led him on to love her by
every charm she possessed, and every art she knew, she had always
refused to be debased by him in any way.
When he went out of his house, at the close of his interviews with
Talbot and Mrs. Belcher, it was without a definitely formed purpose to
visit the charming widow. He simply knew that his heart was hungry. The
sun-flower is gross, but it knows the sun as well as the morning-glory,
and turns to it as naturally. It was with like unreasoning instinct that
he took the little book from its drawer, put on his hat, went down his
steps, and entered the street that led him toward Mrs. Dillingham's
house. He could not keep away from her. He would not if he could, and
so, in ten minutes, he was seated with her, _vis a vis_.
"You have been unfortunate, Mr. Belcher," she said, sympathetically. "I
am very sorry for you. It is not so bad as I heard, I am sure. You are
looking very well."
"Oh! it is one of those things that may happen any day, to any man,
operating as I do," responded Mr. Belcher, with a careless laugh. "The
General never gets in too deep. He is just as rich to-day as he was when
he entered the city."
"I'm so glad to hear it--gladder than I can express," said Mrs.
Dillingham, with heartiness.
Her effusiveness of good feeling and her evident relief from anxiety,
were honey to him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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