Seventeen Years Among the Sea Dyaks of Borneo: A Record of Intimate Association with the Natives of the Bornean JunglesGomes, Edwin Herbert
History
Seventeen Years Among the Sea Dyaks of Borneo: A Record of Intimate Association with the Natives of the Bornean Jungles
Gomes, Edwin Herbert
Iban (Bornean people); Sarawak (Malaysia) -- Description and travel
“Yes,” he said, “we do get on very well now, but it was not always so.
When I was first married, her parents were always taking her side against
me, and the result was that I was ordered about so much, and found fault
with so often, that I was beginning to get sick of it. However, matters
soon came to a climax. One day my wife was pounding paddy, and, turning
to me, she said: ‘This _lesong_ (wooden mortar) is not a nice one; will
you make me another?’ I said I would, and I went to the jungle, cut down
a tree, and made a new wooden mortar, and carried it home. She did not
like it. It was, in her opinion, no better than the other.”
(I may mention here that the Dyak women like a mortar that makes a great
deal of noise when paddy is pounded in it to rid it of the husk. Probably
the only fault to be found with the mortar was that it did not make
enough noise when in use to satisfy his wife.)
“I was told,” the man continued, “to make another _lesong_ for my wife.
This I obediently did, but I did not succeed in pleasing her with my
second attempt any better than I did with my first. I was told to go into
the jungle and make her a third mortar. This I refused to do. I said that
evidently I could not make a wooden mortar to her satisfaction, and the
best thing to do was for us to get someone else to make one, and pay him
for it. She was very angry at my refusal, and said that when she married
she did not expect to have to buy things which other husbands made for
their wives.
[Illustration: A DYAK BRIDE
She wears a silver filigree comb in her hair and a necklace of brass or
silver buttons. Round her body is the brass corset worn by the women and
three belts of silver coins. She has bangles on her wrists and earrings
in her ears. Her jacket is slung over her right shoulder.]
[Illustration: A DYAK GIRL
Round her body is the brass corset the women wear, and she has a necklace
made of large buttons of brass or silver.]
“In all this,” he said, “my wife was backed up by her mother, who, in
many ways, had been making mischief, and was often criticizing my work.
I said little, but when she called me the ‘dead body of a man’ (_bangkai
orang_) it was more than I could stand, and when she went on to say that
I might just as well return to my people if I was not going to work, I
packed up my clothes and returned to my parents.
“After a few days my mother-in-law came to the house of my parents to
ask me to return with her. I refused to do so, because, I said, I was
not sure what sort of reception I should get from my wife. She said
that she had been sent by my wife, and that I need not fear that there
would be any unpleasantness. Still I refused to return, and I told my
mother-in-law that I would not return unless my wife came herself to ask
me.”
(I may remark that it is a very unusual thing for a man to speak in this
way to his mother-in-law. She is treated with so much respect that it is
very seldom a Dyak dares to oppose her wishes.)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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