There for several years Pauline underwent conventional preparations for debut and marriage, including presentation in the Queen’s drawing room. On this occasion she is described as a tall slim girl with delicate features, a luminous halo of fair hair, and eyes of “brun doré,” which court gown lent her the air of a “princesse de légende.”[15] But the demure exterior concealed rebellion. She was still nostalgic for Paris and Violet. The stuffy formality of social life in Chislehurst smothered her. Above all she was revolted by “coquetry” and the prospect of marriage. All this she poured out in letters to Violet, and the interception of certain of these produced an uproar of which Germain says that her later poem, “Sous la Rafale,” is not an exaggerated picture: De la nuit chaotique un cri d’horreur s’exhale. Venez, nous errerons tous trois sous la rafale ... L’éclair nous épouvante et la nuit nous désole ... O vieux Lear, comme toi je suis errant et folle, Et ceux de ma famille et ceux de mes amis M’ont repoussée avec les outrages vomis. Comme toi, Dante, épris d’une douleur hautaine, Je suis une exilée au coeur gonflé de haine ...[16] According to Germain’s implications and evidence in her poetry, her relations with Violet, like those of Lamartine’s Regina with Clothilde, were essentially innocent. But if her letters matched her subsequent verses to Violet in loving eloquence, they would scarcely have sounded innocent to conventional Britons in whose ears the Wilde scandal still reverberated. It is certainly from this same experience that “Le Pilori” grew, for the two poems are unique among her collected verse: Pendant longtemps, je fus clouée au pilori, Et les femmes, voyant que je souffrais, ont ri. Puis, des hommes ont pris dans leurs mains une boue Qui vint éclabousser mes tempes et ma joue ... J’ai senti la colère et l’horreur m’envahir. Silencieusement, j’appris à les haïr. Les insultes cinglaient comme fouets d’ortie, Lorsqu’ils m’ont détachée enfin, je suis partie. Je suis partie au gré des vents. Et depuis lors Mon visage est pareil à la face des morts.[17] Whatever actually happened, peace seems to have ensued only with her attaining her majority and returning to Paris, where she lived alone save for a formal companion. She was obviously wealthy in her own right, for within a few years she acquired residences in Paris, Nice, and Mitylene, the first of which became legendary for its treasures of antique and oriental art, and to the end of her days she was an inveterate traveler.