Shakespeare's Christmas, and other storiesQuiller-Couch, Arthur
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Shakespeare's Christmas, and other stories
Quiller-Couch, Arthur
English fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, English
"As for that," my grandfather answers, "I only wish I could say yes
or no: for 'twould be a relief even to know the worst." He beckoned
very mysterious-like and led the Parson a couple of hundred yards up
the foreshore, with Arch'laus Spry following. And there they came to
a halt, all three, before a rock that someone had been daubing with
whitewash. On the top of the cliff, right above, was planted a stick
with a little white flag.
"Now, Sir, as a Justice of the Peace, what d'ee think of it?"
Parson Polwhele stared from the rock to the stick and couldn't say.
So he turns to Arch'laus Spry and asks: "Any person taken ill in your
parish?"
"No, Sir."
"You're sure Billy Johns hasn't been drinking again?" Billy Johns
was the landlord of the Passage Inn, a very ordinary man by rule,
but given to breaking loose among his own liquors. "He seemed all
right yesterday when I hired the trap off him; but he does the most
unaccountable things when he's taken bad."
"He never did anything so far out of nature as this here; and I can
mind him in six outbreaks," answered my grandfather. "Besides, 'tis not
Billy Johns nor anyone like him."
"Then you know who did it?"
"I do and I don't, Sir. But take a look round, if you please."
The Parson looked up and down and across the river; and, sure enough,
whichever way he turned, his eyes fell on splashes of whitewash and
little flags fluttering. They seemed to stretch right away from
Porthnavas down to the river's mouth; and though he couldn't see it
from where he stood, even Mawnan church-tower had been given a lick of
the brush.
"But," said the Parson, fairly puzzled, "all this can only have
happened in broad daylight, and you must have caught the fellow at it,
whoever he is."
"I wouldn't go so far as to say I caught him," answered my grandfather,
modest-like; "but I came upon him a little above Bosahan in the act of
setting up one of his flags, and I asked him, in the King's name, what
he meant by it."
"And what did he answer?"
My grandfather looked over his shoulder. "I couldn't, Sir, not for a
pocketful of crowns, and your good lady, so to speak, within hearing."
"Nonsense, man! She's not within a hundred yards."
"Well, then, Sir, he up and hoped the devil would fly away with me,
and from that he went on to say----" But here my grandfather came to a
dead halt. "No, Sir, I can't; and as a minister of the Gospel, you'll
never insist on it. He made such horrible statements that I had to go
straight home and read over my old mother's marriage lines. It fairly
dazed me to hear him talk so confident, and she in her grave, poor
soul!"
"You ought to have demanded his name."
"I did, Sir; naturally I did. And he told me to go to the naughty place
for it."
"Well, but what like is he?"
"Oh, as to that, Sir, a man of ordinary shape, like yourself, in a
plain blue coat and a wig shorter than ordinary; nothing about him to
prepare you for the language he lets fly."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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