She wore a heavy veil.
Tidemand threw away his cigar. He had not seen her for weeks, long, weary
weeks; one evening he had thought he recognised her in a lady whose walk
was somewhat similar to hers; he had followed this lady a long time before
he discovered that he was mistaken. He had never objected to her coming,
and she knew it; still, she did not come. She had probably forgotten both
him and the children; it looked that way. And, although he had strolled
around the streets near the Fortress many a night when it was too lonely
at home and at times seen a light in her window, her he had never seen.
What could she be doing? He had sent her money occasionally in order to
hear from her.
Now she stood there before him, only a few steps away.
"So you have come?" he said at last.
"Yes, I have come," she answered. "I had--I wanted to--" And suddenly she
commenced to fumble with her hand-bag; she brought forth a package of
money which she placed before him on the desk. Her hands trembled so
violently that she disarranged the bills, she even dropped a few; she
stooped down and picked them up and stammered: "Take it, please; don't say
no! It is money which I have used for--which I have put to unworthy uses.
Spare me from saying what I have used it for; it is too degrading. There
ought to be much more, but I couldn't delay any longer; there ought to be
twice as much, but I was too impatient to wait until I could bring it all.
Take it, please! I shall bring you the rest later; but I simply had to
come to-day!"
He interrupted her, much annoyed:
"But will you never understand? You bring up this subject of money for
ever! Why are you saving money for me? I have all I need; the business is
very profitable, increasingly so; I don't need it, I tell you--"
"But this money is altogether a different matter," she said timidly. "It
is for my own sake I give it to you. If I hadn't been able to think that I
might repay it I never could have endured life. I have counted and counted
every day and waited until I should have enough. I was wrong in saying
that it was only half; it is at least three-fourths--Oh, how I have
suffered under the disgrace--"
And suddenly he understood why she had wanted to bring him this money. He
took it and thanked her. He did not know what to say except that it was a
lot of money, quite a lot. But could she spare it? Surely? For he really
would be glad if she would let him have it for the present; he could use
it in the business. As a matter of fact, it was most fortunate that she
had come just now; he needed some money, he was not ashamed to confess
it....
He watched her closely and saw the joy well up in her; her eyes sparkled
beneath her veil, and she said:
"God, how happy I am that I came to-day, after all!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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