Shandygaff: A number of most agreeable Inquirendoes upon Life & Letters, interspersed with Short Stories & Skits, the whole most Diverting to the ReaderMorley, Christopher
General
Shandygaff: A number of most agreeable Inquirendoes upon Life & Letters, interspersed with Short Stories & Skits, the whole most Diverting to the Reader
Morley, Christopher
Essays; Short stories
As the time went on he and I used to talk a good deal about the war.
Minna, pale and weary, would stand behind her steaming urn, keeping the
shawl tight round her shoulders; Rhubarb and I would argue without heat
upon the latest news from the war zone. I had no zeal for converting the
old fellow from his views; I understood his sympathies and respected
them. Reports of atrocities troubled him as much as they did me; but the
spine of his contention was that the German army was unbeatable. He got
out his faded discharge ticket from the Würtemberger Landsturm to show
the perfect system of the Imperial military organization. In his desk at
the back of the shop he kept a war map cut from a Sunday supplement and
over this we would argue, Schulz breathing hard and holding his beard
aside in one hand as he bent over the paper. When other customers came
in, he would put the map away with a twinkle, and the topic was dropped.
But often the glass top of the perfume counter was requisitioned as a
large-scale battleground, and the pink bottle of rose water set to
represent Von Hindenburg while the green phial of smelling salts was
Joffre or Brussilov. We fought out the battle of the Marne pretty
completely on the perfume counter. "_Warte doch_!" he would cry. "Just
wait! You will see! All the world is against her, but Germany will win!"
Poor Minna was always afraid her husband and I would quarrel. She knew
well how opposite our sympathies were; she could not understand that our
arguments were wholly lacking in personal animus. When I told him of the
Allies' growing superiority in aircraft Rhubarb would retort by showing
me clippings about the German trench fortifications, the "pill boxes"
made of solid cement. I would speak of the deadly curtain fire of the
British; he would counter with mysterious allusions to Krupp. And his
conclusions were always the same. "Just wait! Germany will win!" And he
would stroke his beard placidly. "But, Fritz!" Minna used to cry in a
panic, "The gentleman might think differently!" Rhubarb and I would grin
at each other, I would buy a tin of tobacco, and we would say good
night.
How dear is the plain, unvarnished human being when one sees him in a
true light! Schulz's honest, kindly face seemed to me to typify all
that I knew of the finer qualities of the Germans; the frugal
simplicity, the tenderness, the proud, stiff rectitude. He and I felt
for each other, I think, something of the humorous friendliness of the
men in the opposing trenches. Chance had cast us on different sides of
the matter. But when I felt tempted to see red, to condemn the Germans
_en masse_, to chant litanies of hate, I used to go down to the
drugstore for tobacco or a mug of chocolate. Rhubarb and I would argue
it out.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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