"What! Prince di Giu has died!" exclaimed The honest man for letters famed, The while he pocketed her gold; "Of what'?--if I may be so bold." Fresh storms of tears the lady shed: "I stabbed him fifty times," she said. AN INSCRIPTION FOR A STATUE OF NAPOLEON, AT WEST POINT. A famous conqueror, in battle brave, Who robbed the cradle to supply the grave. His reign laid quantities of human dust: He fell upon the just and the unjust. A PICKBRAIN. What! imitate me, friend? Suppose that you With agony and difficulty do What I do easily--what then? You've got A style I heartily wish _I_ had not. If I from lack of sense and you from choice Grieve the judicious and the unwise rejoice, No equal censure our deserts will suit-- We both are fools, but you're an ape to boot! CONVALESCENT. "By good men's prayers see Grant restored!" Shouts Talmage, pious creature! Yes, God, by supplication bored From every droning preacher, Exclaimed: "So be it, tiresome crew-- But I've a crow to pick with _you_." THE NAVAL CONSTRUCTOR. He looked upon the ships as they All idly lay at anchor, Their sides with gorgeous workmen gay-- The riveter and planker-- Republicans and Democrats, Statesmen and politicians. He saw the swarm of prudent rats Swimming for land positions. He marked each "belted cruiser" fine, Her poddy life-belts floating In tether where the hungry brine Impinged upon her coating. He noted with a proud regard, As any of his class would, The poplar mast and poplar yard Above the hull of bass-wood. He saw the Eastlake frigate tall, With quaintly carven gable, Hip-roof and dormer-window--all With ivy formidable. In short, he saw our country's hope In best of all conditions-- Equipped, to the last spar and rope, By working politicians. He boarded then the noblest ship And from the harbor glided. "Adieu, adieu!" fell from his lip. Verdict: "He suicided." 1881. DETECTED. In Congress once great Mowther shone, Debating weighty matters; Now into an asylum thrown, He vacuously chatters. If in that legislative hall His wisdom still he 'd vented, It never had been known at all That Mowther was demented. BIMETALISM. Ben Bulger was a silver man, Though not a mine had he: He thought it were a noble plan To make the coinage free. "There hain't for years been sech a time," Said Ben to his bull pup, "For biz--the country's broke and I'm The hardest kind of up. "The paper says that that's because The silver coins is sea'ce, And that the chaps which makes the laws Puts gold ones in their place. "They says them nations always be Most prosperatin' where The wolume of the currency Ain't so disgustin' rare."