French fiction -- 19th century; Sand, George, 1804-1876
Palmer released her from it at one stroke, after a succession of
suspicions more aggravating, because they were unexpressed in words,
than all Laurent's insults had been.
One morning, after passing the night concealed in Thérèse's garden,
Palmer was about to retire when she appeared near the gate and detained
him.
"Well," she said, "you have been watching here six hours; I saw you from
my room. Are you convinced that no one came to see me last night?"
Thérèse was angry, and yet, by forcing the explanation Palmer wished
to avoid, she hoped to lead him back to confidence in her; but he
thought otherwise.
"I see, Thérèse," he said, "that you are tired of me, since you demand
a confession after which I should be contemptible in your eyes. And yet
it would not have cost you much to close them to a weakness with which
I have not annoyed you overmuch. Why do you not let me suffer in
silence? Have I insulted you and pursued you with bitter sarcasms? Have
I written you volumes of insults, only to come the next day and weep at
your feet and make frantic protestations of repentance, reserving the
right to begin anew to torture you the next day? Did I ever so much as
ask you an indiscreet question? Why could you not sleep quietly last
night while I sat on yonder bench, not disturbing your repose by shrieks
and tears? Can you not forgive a suffering for which I blush, perhaps,
and which, at all events, I have the pride to wish to conceal and know
how to? You have forgiven much more in the case of one who had not so
much courage."
"I have forgiven him nothing, Palmer, for I have parted from him
irrevocably. As for this suffering which you avow, and which you think
that you conceal so perfectly, let me tell you that it is as clear as
daylight to my eyes, and that I suffer more from it than you do
yourself. Understand that it humiliates me profoundly, and that, coming
from a strong and thoughtful man like you, it wounds me a hundred times
more deeply than the insults of an excited child."
"Yes, yes, of course," rejoined Palmer. "So you are wounded by my fault,
and angry with me forever! Well, Thérèse, everything is at an end
between us. Do for me what you have done for Laurent: continue to be my
friend."
"So you mean to leave me?"
"Yes, Thérèse; but I do not forget that, when you deigned to give me
your word, I placed my name, my fortune, and my worldly station at your
feet. I have but one word, and I will keep my promise to you; let us be
married here, quietly and joylessly, accept my name and half of my
income, and then----"
"And then?" echoed Thérèse.
"Then I will go home, I will go to embrace my mother, and you will be
free!"
"Is this a threat of suicide?"
"No, on my honor! Suicide is rank cowardice, especially when one has a
mother like mine. I will travel, I will start around the world again,
and you will hear no more of me!"
Thérèse was shocked by such a proposition.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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