French fiction -- 19th century; Sand, George, 1804-1876
Thérèse made no reply. He saw that this unseasonable evocation of one
of his undesirable acquaintances was not a very delicate contribution to
the joys of a romantic midnight expedition with the queen of his heart.
Why had it come into his head? how was it that the name of some foolish
virgin or other had come to his lips? He was mortified by his blunder;
but, instead of ingenuously blaming himself for it and wooing oblivion
by torrents of loving words which he was quite capable of pouring forth
when passion inspired his heart, he determined to brazen it out, and
asked Thérèse if she would sing for him.
"I could not do it," she replied, gently. "It is a long while since I
have ridden, and it has made me a little oppressed."
"If it is only a little, make an effort, Thérèse; it will give me so
much pleasure!"
Thérèse was too proud to be angry, she was only grieved. She turned
her face away, and pretended to cough.
"Well, well," said he, laughingly, "you are only a poor weak woman! And
then you don't believe in my echo, I can see that. I propose that you
shall hear it. Stay here. I will climb up to the top of the hill. You
are not afraid to remain alone for five minutes, I trust?"
"No," replied Thérèse, "I am not at all afraid."
To climb to the other height, he had to go down into the little ravine
which separated it from that on which they were; but the ravine was
deeper than it seemed. When Laurent, having gone down half-way, saw how
far he still had to go, he stopped, reluctant to leave Thérèse alone
so long, and called to her, asking if she had called him.
"No, indeed I did not!" she shouted, not wishing to thwart his caprice.
It is impossible to describe what took place in Laurent's brain; he took
that _indeed I did not_ for a rebuke, and continued to descend, but less
quickly, and musing as he walked.
"I have wounded her," he said, "and now she is sulky, as in the days
when we played at being brother and sister. Is she going to continue to
have these moody fits, now that she is my mistress? But why did I wound
her? I was wrong, certainly, but it was unintentional. It is impossible
that some scrap of my past should not come to my mind now and then. Is
it to be an insult to her and a mortification to me every time? What
does my past matter to her, since she has accepted me as I am? And yet I
was wrong! yes, I was wrong; but will she never happen to mention the
wretch whom she loved and thought she had married? In spite of herself,
Thérèse when she is with me will remember the days she lived without
me, and shall I twist it into a crime?"
He instantly answered his own question:
"Oh! yes, it would be intolerable! So I have done very wrong, and I
ought to have asked her pardon at once."
But he had already reached that stage of mental fatigue when the mind is
sated with enthusiasm, and when the weak and shrinking creature that
every one of us is, to a greater or less extent, feels that he must
resume possession of himself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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