She and I, Volume 2: A Love Story. A Life History.Hutcheson, John C. (John Conroy)
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She and I, Volume 2: A Love Story. A Life History.
Hutcheson, John C. (John Conroy)
Love stories
Min had specially pointed out a text of promise to me in the _Psalms_,
where it is said, "No good thing shall He withhold from them who lead a
godly life;" and, I had hoped in it; yet now, when I saw all my plans
fail, this text took away my faith. Everything was withheld from me, I
thought; therefore I could not lead a godly life, no matter how
strenuously I strove to do so. I was outcast and forgotten! I had gone
through the "vale of misery;" but I could not "use it as a well;" for my
pools were empty! Instead of my Creator directing my "going in the
way," He had left me to stumble forward blindly, until I had fallen into
the Slough of Despond,--the sink of unbelief!
How hard it is to find that faith which enables us to pray in the
confident belief of our supplications being attended to! I remember
once reading a passage in a sermon preached by the Archdeacon of Saint
Albans in Westminster Abbey some thirteen years ago, which was now
brought to my mind. It was one of a series specially designed "for the
working classes," and entitled _The Prayer of Human Kind_. The passage
ran as follows:--
"Why do some penitents--penitents really at heart--still groan, and
try, by self-infliction and by keeping open their wounds, to appease
God, and find no comfort to their souls? Is it not that they have not
really taken to their hearts that God _is_ their Father in Christ; and
that, `even as a father pitieth his own children, so is the Lord
merciful to them that fear him?' Had they, by faith, taken this
blessed truth to their souls, they might and would, not in
hopelessness and dread, but in trust and penitential love, make their
wants known as a child to its parent; they would arise, and in humble
compunctions, and not desponding trust, say, `Father, I have sinned.'
They would carry each trouble to him, and say, `Lord, thou knowest me
to be set in this strait, or under that temptation; Lord, deliver me.'
`Thou seest the longing desire of my heart; Lord, grant it.' `Thou
knowest my weakness; Lord, strengthen me.' They would carry and lay
their separate cares before Him, and cast them on Him, knowing that He
careth for them. They would ask, knowing that they will receive;
knowing that an answer that withholds what is asked for is as real,
and frequently a more merciful answer, than one that grants it."
Ah! That was the faith I could not fathom:--that was why my prayers
gave me no comfort, I suppose. And yet, it is said that God, whom rich
men find so difficult of approach, manifests Himself to us more in
adversity than in prosperity. I could not believe in this myself; for,
when I was successful, I really seemed to have faith, and could pray
from my heart; while, now, despondent, it appeared hypocrisy on my part
to pretend to bend my knees to the Almighty; I felt so despairingly
faithless!
La Mennais says, in his _Paroles d'un Croyant_, that--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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