That there existed in creation a _completing_ feminine for all his
lonely and divided forces; that there lived one woman who could evenly
ignite his body, brain, and spirit; that there was hidden in the
splendid plan of things, a Union of Two to form One; all this which had
been drifting star-stuff before, became sparks now for new and terrific
energies of mind; energies, however, which could be trained and directed
only in her presence.
Man cannot live altogether in the altitudes. There were brief periods
wherein Charter remembered the mad, drink-tainted trifler with lyrics
and women. It had been a past, surely, filled with soul-murdering
illusions. Those who had known him then, would have had to see him now
to find faith. There had been letters about his recent books from men
and women who had known him in the darker, less-spacious days. Failing
to adjust this new and lusty spirit with the man they had known, they
had tried to bring a laugh from him and answers to futile questions.
Charter could not forget that there come to the desk of a review-editor
many personal notices concerning one whose work is being talked about.
Indeed, such are handled as a matter of routine. The Skylark could not
be expected always to wing aloof from these. All that was vague and
indefinite did not matter; such might even be accounted as admirable
specializations in life, but his acquaintance had been prodigious, and
many clippings came home to him which he was not pleased to read....
Still, in the main, he relied upon Paula's solid sense of justice; and
every fresh letter lifted him higher and higher. In his own letters, he
did not fail to incorporate a buffer against indefinite revelations.
Moreover, he had never ceased to call it wonderful--this capacity, of
even the purest women, to lock the doors against the ugliest
generalities of a man's past, and to reckon only with specific
instances. It is here that the mother looks out through the eyes of a
maid.
One April morning, he encountered a depression more formidable in
vitality than ever before. Beth had just had her shoes set, and Charter
tried to ride off the blue devil. He steadied his mount out of town,
until she struck the ringing country road. The instant she felt her
calks bite into the frosty turf, the mare flirted her head, took the
bit, and became a veritable glowing battery of beautiful energy. Twelve
miles he gave her, but the blue devil rode equally well and sat down
again with Charter in his study. It was like a desert-island loneliness,
this which beset him, as if his ship were sinking into the horizon; only
it was a more poignant than physical agony--a sense of spiritual
isolation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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