In the brain of Selma Cross a furious struggle was joined. Never before
had she been given to see so clearly her own limitations--and this in
the high light of her great dramatic triumph. Her womanhood contained
that mighty quality of worshiping intellect. This, she had loved in
Charter long ago; in Stephen Cabot now. The inner key to her greatness
was her capacity to forget the animal in man--if he proved a brain.
There is only one higher reverence--that of forgetting brain to worship
soul. Perceiving the attitude of Quentin Charter to her old life, it was
made clear to her that she must preserve a lie in her relation with
Stephen Cabot; if, indeed, the playwright did not learn outside, as
Charter had done. It was plain that he did not know yet, since he had
not run from her--to a garret somewhere. What a hideous mockery was this
night--begun in pride! Distantly she was grateful that Paula Linster was
at hand to be restored, but her own mind was whipped and cowed by its
thoughts--so there was little energy for another's romance.... Charter
had made no comment on her last remark. She realized now that his
thoughts were bearing him close to the truth.
"You say they forced you to cast out your enemy," she declared hoarsely.
"I cast out mine of my own accord. If there is palliation for you, there
should be for a woman in her first experience. You asked me to stretch
my imagination about a drink-reaction making you avoid me. I ask you,
how is a woman, for the first time alone with a man--to know that he is
different from other men? Add to this, a woman who has come up from the
dregs--for years in the midst of the slum-blooms of the chorus? What I
heard from them of their nights--would have taxed the versatility of
even Villiers--to make me see him lower than I expected! I ask you--how
did I know he was an exception--rather than the rule among the
Glowworms?"
"I'm rather glad you said that," Charter declared quickly. "It's a point
of view I'm grateful for. Do you wonder that the life from which you
have risen to one of the regnant queens has become inseparable in my
mind with shuddering aversion?"
In the extremity of her suffering, her mind had reverted, as an artist's
always does when desperately pressed, to thoughts of work--work, the
healer, the refuge where devils truly are cast out. Even in her work she
now encountered the lash, since Charter despised it. Literally, she was
at bay before him.
"Always that!" she cried. "It is detestable in you always to blame my
work. I broke training. I should have won without the damned angel. You
degraded yourself for years in your work, but I don't hear you blaming
art for your debaucheries! You have sat alone so long that you think all
men outside are foul. You sit high in your attic, so that all men look
like bugs below!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account