"I think he did very well," she answered, laughing. "What must it be
down in the city--when we suffer so here? We cannot do without you----"
"But there is great work for me--the great work I have always asked for.
Believe me, I do not suffer."
"One must not labor until he falls and dies, Father."
"If it be the will of the good God, I ask nothing fairer than to fall in
His service. Death is only terrible from afar off in youth, my dear
child. When we are old and perceive the glories of the Reality, we are
prone to forget the illusion here. In remembering immortality, we forget
the cares and ills of flesh.... I am only troubled for my people,
stifling in the gray curse of the city, and for my brave young friend.
My mind was clouded when he asked me certain questions last night; and
to-day, they say he has gone to the craters of the mountain."
"What for?" she whispered quickly.
"Ah, how should I know? But he tells me of people who make pilgrimages
of sanctification to strange cities of the East--to Mecca and
Benares----"
"But they go to Benares to die, Father!"
"I did not know, my daughter," he assured her, drawing his hand across
his brow in a troubled fashion. "He has not gone to the mountain for
that, though I see storms gathering about him, storms of the mountain
and hatreds of men. But I see you with him afterward--as I saw him with
you--when you first spoke to me."
She told him all, and found healing in the old man's smile.
"It is well, and it is wonderful," he whispered at last. "Much that my
life has misunderstood is made clear to me--by this love of yours and
his----"
"'And his,' Father?"
"Yes."
There was silence. She would not ask if Quentin Charter had also told
his story. Father Fontanel arose and said he must go back, but he took
the girl's hands, looked deeply into her eyes, saying with memorable
gentleness:
"Listen, child,--the man who cannot forget a vision that is lost, will
be a brave mate for the envisioned reality that he finds."
At intervals all that afternoon she felt the influence of Bellingham. It
was not desire. Dull and impersonal, it appealed, as one might hear a
child in another house repeatedly calling to its mother. Within her
there was no response, save that of loathing for a spectre that rises
untimely from a past long since expiated. She did not ask herself
whether she was lifted beyond him, or whether he was debased and
weakened, or if he really called with the old intensity. Glimpses of the
strange place in which he lodged occasionally flashed before her inner
mind, but it was all far and indefinite, easily to be banished. To her,
he had become inextricable from the reptiles. There was so much of
living fear and greater glory in her mind that afternoon, that these
were but evil shadows of slight account.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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