The spirit of her own father was nearer to her in this wonderful
pilgrimage than her husband, to whom she was cold as Etruscan glasses in
the deep-delved earth (yet filled with what fiery potential wine!). He
called her Mistress Ice, brought every art, lure, and expression in the
Charter evolution to bear upon her; yet, farther and farther into
heights he could not dream, she fled with her forming babe. Many
mysteries were cleared for her during this exalted period--though
clouded later by the pangs of parturition.... Once, in the night, she
had awakened with a sound in her room. At first she thought it was her
husband, but she heard his breathing from the next chamber. At length
before her window, shadowed against the faint light of the sky, appeared
the head and shoulders of a man. He was less than ten feet from her, and
she heard the rustle of his fingers over the dresser. For an instant she
endured a horrible, stifling, feminine fright, but it was superseded at
once by a fine assembling of faculties under the control of genuine
courage. The words she whispered were quite new to her.
"I don't want to have to kill you," she said softly. "Put down what you
have and go away--hurry."
The burglar fled quietly down the front stairs, and she heard the door
shut behind him. Out of her trembling was soon evolved the consciousness
of some great triumph, the nature of which she did not yet know. It was
pure ecstasy that the realization brought. The courage which had
steadied her through the crisis was not her own, but from the man's soul
she bore! There was never any doubt after that, she was to bear a son.
There is a rather vital defect in her pursuing the way alone, even
though a great transport filled the days and nights. The complete
alienation of her husband was a fact. This estranged the boy from his
father. Except as the sower, the latter had no part in the life-garden
of Quentin Charter. The mother realized in later years that she might
have ignored less and explained more. The fear of a lack of sympathy had
given her a separateness which her whole married life afterward
reflected. She had disdained even the minor feminine prerogative of
acting. Her husband had a quick, accurate physical brain which, while it
could not have accompanied nor supported in her sustained inspiration,
might still have comprehended and laughingly admired. Instead, she had
been as wholly apart from him as a memory. Often, in the great weariness
of continued contemplation, her spirit had cried out for the sustenance
which only a real mate could bring, the gifts of a kindred soul. Many
times she asked: "Where is the undiscovered master of my heart?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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