Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 1 (of 2)Bird, Robert Montgomery
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Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 1 (of 2)
Bird, Robert Montgomery
American fiction -- 19th century; Satire
I then gave him to understand, I expected, for very good and obvious
reasons, that he would keep the story to himself; which he faithfully
promised. He then fell to cross-questioning me in relation to different
points; and he was particularly curious to know what I supposed had
become of my body; when, not being able to satisfy him on that point,
he himself suggested that perhaps Squire Higginson's spirit had taken
possession of it, as I had done with his, and carried it off for some
purpose or other, and that we should soon have news of him; an idea
that was so agreeable to him, that he fell to laughing as hard as ever.
"Sir," said he, shaking me by the hand in excellent good-humour, "we
will soon have you out of this dog-hole, and that without betraying
your secret. Heaven forbid I should spoil the good fortune of my old
friend Sheppard Lee! No, sir, I am no tale-bearer, or blabber of
secrets. Comfort yourself, sir; I never had the least idea of endicting
you on this absurd charge. Nobody believes Sheppard Lee has been
murdered by you, nor, indeed, by any one else. No, poor devil! the
general opinion now is, that he has taken himself off, to get clear of
duns and sheriffs; and as for the bloody shoe and hat, why that's a
common way of turning pursuers off the scent, by throwing dust in their
eyes. The charge will be abandoned, sir; you will be liberated, and
may, if you like such amusement, prosecute your captors by the dozen
for assault and battery. Farewell, Mr. Higginson,--that is, Mr. Lee;
fortune smiles upon you at last; and you are a happy,--a wonderful man,
sir.--Farewell!"
The attorney then left me; and so much diverted was he by my adventure,
that I could hear him indulge peal after peal of mirth, until he had
got out of the prison.
Now it may be supposed that my story, from its reasonableness, carried
conviction to the attorney's mind; and so I was persuaded. But I
reckoned without my host; the hypocritical gentleman did not believe
a word of it, however much he pretended to do so. But in this he was
like the rest of the fraternity: I never, indeed, knew a lawyer to
believe any thing unless he was paid for it; and I forgot to present
my gentleman a fee. My story, therefore, not being paid for, or proved
according to law, only convinced this skeptical person that I--"the
unfortunate Higginson," as he called me--had suddenly lost my senses,
and gone staring mad; and in consequence, disregarding all his promises
of secrecy, he ran over the whole village, diverting every one he could
lay hands on with an account of "the poor squire's hallucination,"
as he termed it--that is to say, his conceit that his body was now
inhabited by the soul of Sheppard Lee.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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