Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 1 (of 2)Bird, Robert Montgomery
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Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 1 (of 2)
Bird, Robert Montgomery
American fiction -- 19th century; Satire
"And my uncle a'n't come, then?" said I. "What made you say so?"
"To rid you of a dun, my fellow," said Jack. "I saw the rascal had
worked himself into a phrensy, and that you were at your wit's end.
I had pity on your distresses, and so ran in with a huge lie, as
irresistible as a broadsword, to the rescue. Victory and Jo Pæan! I
have routed the enemy, and you are no longer in fear. Keep up the fire,
and you are easy for a week."
"But my uncle really intends to leave me that fourteen thousand a
year?" said I.
"Has he got it?" said Jack, giving me a comical stare.
"Jack," said I, after pausing a little, "I want to ask you a favour."
"Have but twenty-five in the world," said Tickle, pulling out his
pocketbook; "but you shall have ten."
"It isn't that," said I; "I want you to tell me my history."
"Your history!" said Tickle, staring at me in surprise.
CHAPTER VII.
IN WHICH SHEPPARD LEE IS TOLD HIS HISTORY.
An idea had suddenly seized me; and I must say, that up to this time,
it was the most brilliant one that ever entered my mind. My ignorance
of Mr. I. D. Dawkins's affairs was still highly inconvenient and
oppressive, and I was determined, with my friend's assistance, to
remove it.
"Tickle," said I, "I really believe the doctor has only half
resuscitated me; my body is pretty well, but my mind is only so-so.
Would you believe it, my memory is quite gone?"
"As to your debts, certainly," said Jack; "so is mine."
"Ged," said I, "'tis gone altogether. Really, it seems to me as if I
had only begun existence this morning; my recollection of all events
(and even persons known) anterior to my sop in the river, is so
imperfect, you can't conceive. Would you believe it, I really didn't
know that rogue Sniggles, and had to ask him his name! The ladies,
too, Jack--Miss Smith, Miss Small, and the rest that you were talking
about--who the deuse are they? I have heard much talk of my uncle, too.
_Have_ I an uncle? and if so, who and what is he? for I swear, 'pon
honour, Jack, I know no more than the man in the moon. In a word, Jack,
demmee, I am in my second childhood, and you must help me out of it.
Give me, therefore, my history, my whole history, and tell me all about
me; for may I be dunned to death if I rightly know who I am!"
"You don't?" said Jack; "well, that's funny; but I have heard of such
things before. Is a dip in cold water, then, so hard on the memory?
I say, Dawky, my fellow, couldn't we contrive some way to dip our
creditors? But, eged now, Dawky, you a'n't serious?"
"I am," said I; "and I beg you'll give me an idea who I am, and all
other things appertaining."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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