Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 1 (of 2)Bird, Robert Montgomery
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Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 1 (of 2)
Bird, Robert Montgomery
American fiction -- 19th century; Satire
"Right," said Jack; "and what makes you suppose you will get it here?
Now, Snip, my dear fellow, make yourself short. 'Tis not convenient
just now for my friend Dawkins to pay you."
"Must take up that note," said Mr. Snip; "can't think of waiting no
longer."
The rascal spoke resolutely, though more cowardly-looking than
Sniggles: but who could withstand the rage and indignation of my friend
Tickle?
"Away, you ungrateful loon!" said he; "is that the way you serve the
man that made you? Who would have employed you, you botch, if Dawkins
had not taken you up and made you fashionable?"
"Ay, demmee, Snip," said I, taking my cue from Tickle, "I say, wasn't I
the making of you? and do you come dunning me? Didn't I recommend you
into notice and business? didn't I send my friends to you?"
"Can't deny," said the tailor, "won't controvert; but must say, can't
always get my money of Mr. Dawkins's friends; but don't mean no
offence. Wouldn't think of pressing Mr. Dawkins; always said he was my
friend; wouldn't mind holding back, if Mr. Dawkins would send me good
pay-customers."
"Well," said I, thinking the man was modest in his desires, "I will:
you shall have three Johnny Raws before the week is out, and you may
charge them double."
"Very much obliged, and won't controvert," said Mr. Snip, humbly; "but
can't take no more promises."
"And you really insist upon having your money?" said Tickle.
"Ay!" said I, re-echoing his indignation, and putting on a dignity
that even awed myself, "you are determined to have your money, and to
lose your business? Tickle, hand me back that five hundred I lent you,
or enough of it to pay the rascallion--shall have it again as soon as
I can run down and see my uncle Wilkins. I say, Tickle, hand me the
money, and let me pay the ungrateful rascal off."
"If I do," said Jack, "demmee! Encourage dunning? Never!"
"He shall have his money," said I. "Here, you Snip, you man, you have
broken your own neck; come back here to-morrow at half past twelve,
with a receipt in full, take your money, and never look to make a
gentleman's coat again. Come, Tickle, it is time I was with my uncle;
you shall go along and dine with him. A fine old cock, I assure you!"
I surveyed the tailor; my dignity, and the sound of my uncle's name,
had subdued him. He slipped his bill into his pocket, and looked
penitent.
"Won't controvert a gentleman on no occasion," he said. "Always said
Mr. Dawkins was my friend; and as for Mr. Dawkins's uncle--"
"Yes!" said Jack, "yes! you said you did not believe in any such person!
did not believe there was such a person!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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