Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 2 (of 2)Bird, Robert Montgomery
General
Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 2 (of 2)
Bird, Robert Montgomery
American fiction -- 19th century; Satire
The first essayed was that of the unfortunate Scipio, who, being well
charged, began, to the admiration of all present, to raise first one
arm, and then the other, then to twist the fingers of his left hand in
a peculiar way, as if turning a screw, inclining his head the while
towards his left shoulder, and then to saw the air, sweeping his right
hand to and fro across his breast, with great briskness and energy,
the fingers of his left titillating at the air all the while, so as to
present the lively spectacle of a man playing the fiddle; and, indeed,
it was judged, so natural was every motion, that had the party been
provided with a fiddle and bow to put into his hands, they would have
played such a jig as would have set all present dancing.
The next experiment tried was upon the body of Sam, whose muscles
were speedily excited to exercise themselves in the way to which they
had been most accustomed, though not in one so agreeable to the chief
operator; for, in this case, the lifeless corse suddenly lifting up its
head, bestowed it, with a jerk of propulsion equal in force to the but
of a battering-ram, full against the stomach of the operator, whereby
he was tumbled head over heels, and all the breath beaten out of his
body.
The reader may suppose, as it was proved to be the virtue of galvanism
to set the dead muscles doing those acts to which the living ones had
been longest habituated, that I, upon being charged, could do nothing
less than throw myself upon my hands and knees, and go galloping about
the table, as I had been used to do over the lawn, when master Tommy
was mounted upon my back.
Such, however, was not the fact. The first thing I did upon feeling the
magical fluid penetrate my nerves, was to open my eyes and snap them
twice or thrice; the second to utter a horrible groan, which greatly
disconcerted the spectators; and the third to start bolt upright on
my feet, and ask them "what the devil they were after?" In a word, I
was suddenly resuscitated, and to the great horror of all present,
doctors and lookers-on, who, fetching a yell, that caused me to think
I had got among condemned spirits in purgatory, fled from the room,
exclaiming that I "was the devil, and no niggur!" What was particularly
lamentable, though I was far from so esteeming it, one of them, a
young gentleman who had come to the exhibition out of curiosity, being
invited by one of the doctors, was so overcome with terror, that before
he reached the door of the room he fell down in a fit, and being
neglected by the others, none of whom stopped to give him help, expired
on the spot.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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